I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT

It's no secret that I love the show I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.  Today, I finally realized why.  It is because I am jealous.   It just doesn't seem fair that some ladies get to go through pregnancy without even knowing it, and then poof, they sit on the toilet and out falls a healthy baby.

Right now, almost a week before my due date, I wish I didn't know that I was pregnant.  Why can't I be on that show!?  I hate the waiting game. I hate not knowing if it will be tonight or three weeks away.  I clean my room every night before I go to bed, just in case I go into labor at 2 a.m.  Erik and I have serious discussions about what size of bowl will be big enough for my placenta.  I waddle everywhere.  Turning over in bed is a 10 minute process.  I feel like a freak show when I go out in public.  The last thing I look at before I go to sleep is the tub and birth kit* sitting right next to my side of the bed -

Keep in mind, I am very grateful to be having a baby and am looking forward to another great home birth experience.  I'm just a little apprehensive about when the baby will decide to be born.  I like to be in control and it drives me nuts not being able to pick the exact time she will make her appearance.

With that being said, I would like the 40 or so well-meaning people who asked me about it at church on Sunday, to know that, yes, I am still pregnant... still very pregnant, and kind of irritable too, if you couldn't tell.

*My birth kit is in an old Spa Baby box that my midwife dropped off.  I would never buy one of those.  It's a bucket!!

USE THE FORCE, LUKE

One of the most exciting things about raising children, is that it gives you the perfect opportunity (or excuse) to brainwash someone.  Don't tell me we haven't all fantasized about brainwashing someone at some point in our lives!  For some people, they might dream about brainwashing their kids to believe in a certain religion or political movement. Long before my kids came along, I decided that I was going to brainwash them to love musicals!  My original plan was to buy pretty much every good musical that ever existed (sorry, no Paint Your Wagon) and force my kids to watch them until they loved them as much as me.  Then, before I knew it, I had two boys close in age and my dreams of forcing The Sound of Music and West Side Story down their throats was lost somewhere between Transformers and Thomas the Stupid Tank Engine.

I'm learning now, that Erik had his own fantasies of brainwashing our children and the total indoctrination appears to be complete.  Any guess what Erik is into?

If you guessed, Spaceballs, you are wrong.  Earlier this month when we were all deathly ill at some point, Erik borrowed all six Star Wars movies and now it is a ritual that he watches one of them with the kids every Friday night.  (All of them except Episode 3, I won't let him show them that one yet.  Although Luke did whisper in my ear today that Anakin turns into Darth Vader in that one.  Sorry, spoiler alert for the two of you who have never seen the movies.)

The kids are obsessed.  I'm irritated.  Star Wars is for nerds.  (While musicals are obviously for cool people.)  My nerdy family now walks around all day quoting Star Wars and having light saber fights.  I just roll my eyes.  I tried to sit through The Return of the Jedi the other night, as I have never seen it, and stopped watching after about 20 minutes.  You know it's bad when I'm staring at the timer on the DVD player, wondering when the movie will be over.  Oh well.  More time for me to lie on my bed and play Angry Birds I guess.

The kids thought it was super cool when Erik learned this trick for making your light saber light up in pictures.  (Hint:  It's a colored pencil held really close to the camera.)

The other night, while I was doing dishes, Erik mentioned that we should take some pregnancy pictures before this baby comes. Since I live in a house full of nerds, I jokingly said, "Can we just do a light saber pose and call it good?"  He thought that would be awesome!

So there we have it.  38 weeks pregnant, doing the dishes and holding a fake light saber (colored pencil). How nerdy is that?