It's no secret that I love the show I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Today, I finally realized why. It is because I am jealous. It just doesn't seem fair that some ladies get to go through pregnancy without even knowing it, and then poof, they sit on the toilet and out falls a healthy baby.
Right now, almost a week before my due date, I wish I didn't know that I was pregnant. Why can't I be on that show!? I hate the waiting game. I hate not knowing if it will be tonight or three weeks away. I clean my room every night before I go to bed, just in case I go into labor at 2 a.m. Erik and I have serious discussions about what size of bowl will be big enough for my placenta. I waddle everywhere. Turning over in bed is a 10 minute process. I feel like a freak show when I go out in public. The last thing I look at before I go to sleep is the tub and birth kit* sitting right next to my side of the bed -
Keep in mind, I am very grateful to be having a baby and am looking forward to another great home birth experience. I'm just a little apprehensive about when the baby will decide to be born. I like to be in control and it drives me nuts not being able to pick the exact time she will make her appearance.
With that being said, I would like the 40 or so well-meaning people who asked me about it at church on Sunday, to know that, yes, I am still pregnant... still very pregnant, and kind of irritable too, if you couldn't tell.
*My birth kit is in an old Spa Baby box that my midwife dropped off. I would never buy one of those. It's a bucket!!