For those of you who didn't know, my nephew, Joshua, passed away last Tuesday. Rather than re-tell the story, here is an excerpt from what was included in his funeral program:
Joshua Lonati Uipi, precious son of Salesi and Kaci Uipi, was born October 10, 2010, in Phoenix, Arizona. He was only able to spend one short week of his life as a happy, healthy baby boy before returning to St. Joseph's Hospital. His family watched helplessly as sweet Joshua grew sicker and sicker each day despite excellent care. After three difficult weeks and much prayer and fasting, Baby Joshua returned home to his Heavenly Father.
Loving family members surrounded his small hospital bed and sang I am a Child of God, then took turns holding him in the rocking chair for many hours. At 2:58 p.m. on November 9, 2010, Joshua passed peacefully in the arms of his mother. The day before he died doctors diagnosed him with Chronic Granulomatous Disease, a rare genetic disorder that hampered his ability to fight the yeast infection that attacked his lungs. CGD occurs once in every one million persons. All who knew Joshua agree that he truly was one in a million.
So on Friday, I drove out to Phoenix for the funeral. Erik had to work so he wasn't able to come, but it actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise since I was able to leave the kids in California. The entire weekend was so emotionally draining, I can't imagine how hard it would have been to have the kids there.
Not having the kids this weekend, left me with a lot of time to think. I spent a lot of time wondering why this hasn't happened to me yet. Why do I have two healthy children? It felt strange being an obviously pregnant woman at a funeral for a one month old. People kept asking me if I was excited to have a girl and all I could think was, "Well, yeah, if she lives!" I didn't say that, but I wanted to. My sister thought Joshua was healthy and then less than a month later he dies. I thought about how quickly life can change. I don't mean to sound angry, it's just been an emotional few weeks. My heart breaks for my sister and brother-in-law. It's one of those things that I wish so badly that I could fix for them, but I can't. No matter how many times someone says that "he is in a better place," it still doesn't change the shock of suddenly not having a baby here that you were expecting.
November has been crazy. I'm looking forward to the rest of this month being less chaotic. For the first weekend in 3 weeks, I'll actually be home!