One of the first serious fights that Erik and I ever got into as a married couple was about the size of our future family. He wanted at least six kids and I wanted no more than four. During the argument, I specifically remember him saying repeatedly that six kids seemed decent, but four was way too small of a family.
Can you blame him? Erik came from a family with nine kids. Take a look at this photo of Erik's family right after his brother, Steffen, was born in 1986. (No, that is not a preschool or a primary.) At the time, my mother-in-law was two years younger than I am now.
I come from a "small" family of four. Ironically enough, I remember my house being really crazy. There was lots of yelling and fighting among us girls. It was never as peaceful as one would expect with such a "small" family. Looking back, I can't believe my parents even had four kids. That seems huge to me now.
I don't know anyone who has nine kids anymore. I wonder why that is. Eight years have passed since our argument about family size and our perspective has completely changed. Erik gave up the hope (and desire) to have six kids many years ago. Besides, we started too old for that. In the past, I doubted whether or not we would even have one child, so I feel extremely blessed just to have two. If that's all we have, we're fine. Besides, these little boys are tiring us out. Yes. We are wusses.
In the Mormon world, it seems like women feel obligated to explain their family size to other women. Is it really that awful to only have two or three kids? I would hate to think that we're all judging each other's family size, but maybe that's naive of me to think that we're not.