1.27.2010

COURAGE

Everyone has fears. I have a lot. There are so many of them that I need to classify them.

For example, my personal fears include dogs, heights, more dogs, and crashing in a private airplane that Erik is flying. My fears as a mother include losing my children or having them attacked by a wild animal or dog. I don't care if you think my fears are silly. They are very legitimate to me.


I have a friend who has a fear of driving over water. She actually used to carry a long rope in the car just in case her car drove off a bridge. The plan was that when the car landed in the water she would tie all her kids together and swim to safety. I didn't exactly understand how she was going to tie all the kids together so quickly. Nor did I understand how she would keep her kids afloat. For some reason though, that rope made her feel more confident. (Her plan reminded me of the part in the Incredibles when the mom has her two kids hold on to her and they swim to the island to save Mr. Incredible.)

Two years ago I read this horrible article about a 21 month old living with his single mother. When his mother died of natural causes, no one found the toddler for weeks. He apparently died a week later. There was evidence that he had been hunting for food. This really stuck with me, because Luke, at the time, was about the same age as this boy.

Any time that Erik is out of town I worry about the kids in case I die in the middle of the night. I have gone as far as to tell people that if I don't show up to appointments or answer the phone, to come break my door down. I even leave a little food accessible to the kids in the kitchen. (Although I doubt they would know how to ration it correctly.)


Well, good news. Luke woke up this morning and poured his own glass of milk. He even dished up some yogurt for himself. AMAZING! I'm not so afraid anymore. The fact that Luke poured his own glass of milk is comforting to me like my friend found comfort in that rope. If they don't kill each other, they might last a little while without me. Maybe. Who knew a simple glass of milk could signify so much?

12 comments:

  1. I didn't think I was afraid of heights until I saw the third LOTR movie, the first half of which entirely takes place on cliffs. I had even read the book, so I knew Frodo was going to be okay (BELATED SPOILER ALERT), but I still was distracted from the movie with thoughts like, "The Ring-Bearer has a responsibility to not fall off a cliff right outside Mordor; Frodo is being irresponsible!"
    It turns out I'm slightly afraid of heights.

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  2. wow. thats a really sad story about the mom and baby. So Luke can feed himself, but do you you think he will give any food to Charlie?

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  3. I have so many fears now that I am a mother! I suggest reading up on how to escape a car in water with your children...It goes 'windows, seatbelts, children, out'.

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  4. What a sad story about that little boy. I have that worry about dieing while Jimmy is away too, but the older Zeke gets, the less I worry about it.

    I think all of your fears are legitimate. I'm afraid of dogs too, just probably not as much.

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  5. Is that a whiff of independence I smell? Woo Hoo! I worry that my Hubs will croak and leave me alone with these little animals.

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  6. I totally understand fears. I had the opportunity to go with DH on a business trip to NYC this fall and I almost talked myself out of it. I was scared I would be in a plane crash and my kids wouldn't have a mommy anymore. :(

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  7. That's such a heartbreaking story! If I have done one thing right as a mom, it would to be to teach my kids how to get themselves a meal...then if I were to drop dead, I doubt anyone'd notice for a while! (That's actually one of MY fears - that my kids wouldn't remember the small details about me if I were to leave this earth early...)

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  8. Wow, this was a good post, but only made me think even more of the baZILLION fears that I have.. you know some of them I mean I could write a whole book, but probably no one would buy it. I was SOOO scared everytime we would have to drive over the bridge to Coronado Islad.. I mean SERIOUSLY WHY IS THAT WALL SO FREAKN SHORT!! if any car hit it they would be over board in a second. anyway that is one of the kazillion.

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  9. Wow. Tell your friend to avoid the Chesapeake Bay Bridge (in Maryland). I have gone across it so many times and it always makes me uneasy. (Though, strangely not so much when it's a bit foggy and you can't see the water below.)

    Cute story about Luke! I bet he's even more capable and resourceful than that. He's the one that can, without trouble, climb over the wall out back, right?? He could probably milk a cow if he had to.

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  10. OH yeah, I forgot to say that I WILL NEVER EVER EVER ride in an airplane with Erik. No offense Erik, but flying already scares me enough.

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  11. What a horrible story about the toddler, but truly Cristin, this could not happen to you with all those around who would immediately worry about where you are at. Very funny though. I can't say I've ever really considered that! Always good to add some new fears to the list.

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  12. actually for awhile I did keep the kids little swim vests in the van along with the rope to help calm this crazy fear, but as for the time it would take to get everyone into their life vests and roped together - not sure - I'd have to get some super power time warp thing going! there are way too many fears especially once you have kids. that's awesome luke poured his own milk! yay!

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