Everyone has fears. I have a lot. There are so many of them that I need to classify them.
For example, my personal fears include dogs, heights, more dogs, and crashing in a private airplane that Erik is flying. My fears as a mother include losing my children or having them attacked by a wild animal or dog. I don't care if you think my fears are silly. They are very legitimate to me.
I have a friend who has a fear of driving over water. She actually used to carry a long rope in the car just in case her car drove off a bridge. The plan was that when the car landed in the water she would tie all her kids together and swim to safety. I didn't exactly understand how she was going to tie all the kids together so quickly. Nor did I understand how she would keep her kids afloat. For some reason though, that rope made her feel more confident. (Her plan reminded me of the part in the Incredibles when the mom has her two kids hold on to her and they swim to the island to save Mr. Incredible.)
Two years ago I read this horrible article about a 21 month old living with his single mother. When his mother died of natural causes, no one found the toddler for weeks. He apparently died a week later. There was evidence that he had been hunting for food. This really stuck with me, because Luke, at the time, was about the same age as this boy.
Any time that Erik is out of town I worry about the kids in case I die in the middle of the night. I have gone as far as to tell people that if I don't show up to appointments or answer the phone, to come break my door down. I even leave a little food accessible to the kids in the kitchen. (Although I doubt they would know how to ration it correctly.)
Well, good news. Luke woke up this morning and poured his own glass of milk. He even dished up some yogurt for himself. AMAZING! I'm not so afraid anymore. The fact that Luke poured his own glass of milk is comforting to me like my friend found comfort in that rope. If they don't kill each other, they might last a little while without me. Maybe. Who knew a simple glass of milk could signify so much?