I love fall because I can wear sweaters and coats and Ugg boots and scarves and hats and designer jeans and long johns and orange and mittens and raincoats and wool socks and closed-toed shoes and flannel pajamas and huge headbands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do you people like fall? Everyone's facebook status/blog keeps singing the praises of fall. I don't get it. Fall is cold. It means to me one thing: Nylons at church!
Some people say that you should never wear nylons (or PANTYHOSE), but those people are crazy. That's like wearing shorts in the snow. Some people say that you should only wear tall boots with wool socks when it is cold, but those people obviously don't have skinny calves that make it impossible to find a good boot. My mother is the only person I know who says you should wear nylons all the time. "It prevents varicose veins," she tells me. Too late, Mom. I already got them.
Don't even get me started on how much nylons cost. I probably go through about 1 pair every 2 Sundays. If my kids don't claw them with their fingernails, I snag them with my wedding ring.
No one ever talks about nylons, which leads me to believe that I am the only one still wearing nylons. Another clue was when I was at the grocery store the other day and there was a whole shopping cart full of really good nylons for a $1.00 a box. I felt like I had won the lottery. I only had enough cash on me to buy 5 boxes. The next day I went back and there were just as many nylons in that cart as the day before. Maybe I really am the only one buying them. Yet, if that was true they should always be on clearance. Right?