Even the Chosen One eats at Five Guys, Random Stranger. Get with the now.

In response to a post that I wrote last month criticizing In-N-Out, Random Stranger recently wrote -
"Cristin should be glad I'm moving further away from her, because if I was within a ten-hour drive of her, I'd show up at her door and punch her right in her mouth."
My thoughts, in this order, were -

1. Perhaps I should have attended the self-defense class last Saturday that promised how to teach me to use a kitchen knife like a Navy SEAL.

2. Punch me in the mouth? Well, then I'm going to have to knee him in the groin.

3. For a native Californian to admit that another fast food place is better than In-N-Out is comparable to a Mormon condemning the temple. I have obviously committed blasphemy, but how can I go back now? In the fast food world, In-N-Out is leagues ahead of McDogfood and Burger King, but at the end of the day their hamburgers still consist of a wimpy piece of meat with way too much sauce. Five Guys may cost a little more, but at least they offer more options. I won't even begin to go into a comparison of their fries since even an idiot knows you can't defend In-N-Out's fries.

Verdict: Random Stranger has poor judgment and bad taste. (Proof indicated by his inclination to beat up women and blue-haired senior picture below.)


  1. I was laughing to myself, thinking that the freaky blue-haired Random Stranger guy kinda looked like my wonderful, caring, considerate former home teacher, Brandon M. Then I took a peek at Random Stranger's blog...

    NAUGHTY BOY, BRANDON! We don't hit girls!

  2. 5 Guys beats In N Out hands down. Plus you odn't have to know some secret lingo to order what you want there.

  3. That's a low blow, lady. And what's a girl from Yuma, AZ doing claiming to be a native Californian?

  4. I must confess that I've avoided trying 5 Guys. I'm pretty sure I'd love it and I'm very sure that love would be bad for me. Sigh. One of these days.

  5. Ok, Cristin, I am going to have to disagree with you on Five Guys. You forgot to mention how it is five times as expensive as In-n-out. Shortly after we moved to Atlanta I was hoping to find a good burger place to replace In-n-Out, but was sadly disappointed with the price and really wasn't a fan of the food

    Fortunately, we have found a place just around the corner from us that does have really good burgers and fries that I would have to admit may just be better than In-n-Out, it, too, is expensive so we don't get it as often. Sorry it is not a chain.

  6. Hahahaha. I really don't know what else to say. Wow.

  7. Disclaimer: I am a native Californian who lives in the land-of-Five_guys and I really genuinely love In-n-Out. I have eaten at both joints so many times. Long-term I just have to go with In-n-Out. But I concede that you are right on the fires...plus the Five Guys near me has malt vinegar for fries, and that eases the pain of not having an In-n-Out nearby. I also thought your post was hilarious and glad you so kindly put the blue-haired-boy in his place.

  8. Ive worked at 5 guys before in North Carolina, and it was amazing. I love that they are in Utah now. Best burgers Ive ever had!

  9. Yeah, that random stranger of yours is actually my ex-boyfriend. Sounds like I avoided a potentially abusive relationship. hahahahaha.

  10. This topic has almost led my husband and me to divorce. He's all about 5 guys, I think they're good but don't hold a candle to In 'N Out (but then again as a So.Cal girl I am biased...) For the sake of our marriage we agree to disagree. Luckily he hasn't threatened to punch me in the mouth.

  11. I have not tried 5 Guys, but it would be very hard to beat In-n-Out. Now a guy with blue hair, that would not be hard to beat (up).



Related Posts with Thumbnails