Erik returns from his mancation tonight. If there is one thing I have learned from having him gone for 7 days, it is that husbands are totally overrated. Who needs 'em? Not me!
Actually, I told him on the phone today that I would rather hate his guts and live with him, than be a single mother. In other words, divorce is not an option until the kids are out of the house.
So, here's what I have accomplished while I have been alone this week -
I watched the most dramatic Bachelorette finale ever. It was dramatic because everyone was dying to found out if Ed would wear his scary green mankini shorts again. (He did, ew.) The show seemed more fake than ever this season. What I really want to see is for a contestant to go rogue, i.e., Reid's return was too scripted. He should have interrupted Ed's proposal by landing in between them with a parachute and a ring pop. Now, that would have been the most dramatic rose ceremony ever.
One morning this week I started pruning the front yard, but got lazy, so I hired these guys to do it for me. Erik would not approve. He is against paying anyone to do something that we could do ourselves. I just liked these guys because they had really good tools... and I was tired.
The worst part about Erik being gone is how lonely I get. There isn't a night that goes by when I don't look out the window and pull a Fievel by singing, "Somewhere Out There."
Also, I can't sleep when he's gone and it is starting to catch up with me. Today, I knew I was losing my mind when I started using my small and hard plastic wipes container as a wallet.
Hurry home, Honey. Please.