5.06.2009

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

It's official. I'm weaning Charlie. One month ago today he was nursing 8 times a day and now he only nurses twice in a 24 hour period. The game changer was definitely giving him the pacifier. He never took one until last month. As soon as I gave it to him he stopped asking to nurse and I stopped offering. At this rate, I don't foresee any problems weaning him by the time I go on my trip to Baltimore in July.

The strange thing is that I feel very sad about weaning him. I don't know why. Nursing Charlie was hell. There were many days that I would look to April and promise that I would stop nursing the day he turned one. During the past year I can only count maybe 2 months when we weren't suffering from thrush, excessive biting, sore nipples, or psoriasis. Even to this day, I have a huge painful cut... sorry, this is probably too much information. You get the point. It has been bad, so why am I so sad? Am I just a glutton for pain?

Now I have to pack food and fill sippy cups, where I used to be able to feed my baby while sitting in the rocking chair with my eyes closed. Perhaps it is my laziness that is the cause of my grief?

12 comments:

  1. It's because nursing gives you a natural motherly bond with your baby and it also gives you specific hormones and endorphins.. what I'm trying to say, is your going through withdraw. (caitlin)

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  2. Well, be proud of yourself for how long you did nurse Charlie. You are a good mom, that is why it makes you sad. Give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it!

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  3. I hear ya. I swore I'd be done nursing my youngest ASAP for similar reasons ... then I kept on going past the year-mark.

    And yes, I do miss the days where I could sit on the couch and look at my beautiful babe in my lap. Even after all the biting and pain, I miss it.

    Good job on the nursing. And the weaning (that can be just as tricky!)

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  4. I am having similar feelings about weaning Ryan. I am still not sure when I am going to start the whole weaning process. I would love to hear how it goes...suggestions for when I decide to!

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  5. Cristin..I love reading your blog. It's nice to keep up on your and your family. See you at the family reunion..Aunt Julie

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  6. This is coming from someone who had only minor problems with nursing - a few bites and serious difficulty with having enough milk - we're talking 9 lb newborns with only 2 oz. boobie capacity, I swear - anyway, it was relatively pain-free, though numerous (7 babies). From this perspective I can say, yes, for sure it is the ease factor at play. NOT laziness! Any more with any number of kids who keeps a reasonlably clean house and cooks reasonable meals fairly often could NEVER be accused of being lazy! Please!
    :~D

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  7. Yeah, too much information Cristin. I just don't get why you had to wait till he was one? I already know cause you are cheap but if it was causing that much pain then just stop! And that is funny to think that Charlie can "ask" you for milk... I guess I haven't seen him in a while. Oh yeah and cute overalls,whoever got him those is the best person ever.

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  8. Your son is lucky you are so dedicated and willing to go through all of that for him. I'd have kicked him off at 'biting'. One bite- it's over! Yikes!

    It's hard because it signals change in the relationship. It's a natural change but it means he's growing and is further and further away from being that sweet little baby and closer and closer to being a kid.

    I suspect you're having the anticipatiory anxiety. Once you actually do it, you won't look back. there will be something new and different to replace what you're losing- something that hopefully doesn't involve physical pain.

    Girl- getting your boobs back is cause for celebration! Perhaps you could look at it as getting to own your own body again?

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  9. oohh, I'm so with you on this one.

    I've cried at the weaning of each of my four children. It was especially hard when my baby #4 chipped a top tooth and then cut my nipple time and again while nursing. Instead of weaning him early, we filed the tooth down to a smoother angle which helped.

    Still, I miss those nursing days. And I'm glad we took nursing picts with each of our kids to preserve the memories...it goes so fast.

    Best of luck -- weaning can be the best of times (euphoria, more freedom!) and the saddest of times (melancholy at babies growing up).

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  10. The saddest part for me (and I nursed the first two almost 2 yrs) was first, that it was a reality check that they were not little babies anymore.
    But even more so was how sad they were! My kids were depressed for the longest time afterward! Lethargic and clingy--at 23 months!
    Though with the third she screamed her head off for 18 mo and I cut her off at 15 mo. with good riddance!

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  11. The closer Chandler gets to being a year old the more anxious I get about not nursing him anymore- it makes me so sad to think about! Holding your sweet baby in your arms while he eats and looks up in your eyes is one of the best parts of being a mom for me! But weaning has to happen sooner or later so I'm glad this hasn't been too tough of a process for you- plus no more pain is definitely a reason to celebrate!! :)

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  12. Nothing like talking about Nipples in front of the whole internet...
    Can't help but quote:
    "I have nipples Greg, does that mean you can mild me?"

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