There is this joke among certain people we know that Erik and I show no public affection. Not true! Here is a picture from over 7 years ago on our wedding day -

See. I told you we loved each other. There were like 100 people watching us kiss.

I suppose it's normal to worry about a couple if you never see them showing any signs of affection towards one other. Some public displays of affection, such as hand holding and a quick kiss, are quite sweet. However, that's where I draw the line these days. No need to make other people feel uncomfortable. Oh, how I wish everyone felt the same way I did.

One of the worst PDA's I have ever witnessed was seeing a boy dance with his girlfriend (who was in a wheelchair) at an LDS Young Single Adult Dance in Santa Monica many years ago. You could tell that he really liked this girl and it was obvious that she really liked him. What was not obvious was if he was performing a lap dance on purpose or if it just came across that way because she was in a wheelchair. (Either way, they were able to get away with it because she was in a wheelchair and the last thing anyone was going to do was to tell the girl in the wheelchair to stop dancing.)

The worst PDA offenders are engaged couples. Candler was really bad when they were engaged. They couldn't even sit at a table normally. One would always turn their chair to face the other while the other was eating. Another bad couple were my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, Christian and Emily. We would be having a normal conversation when suddenly one of them would turn to the other and begin "nuzzling" the person's neck or face while we were trying to talk. I got it. You dig each other. Fortunately for both couples, they got married and "got it out of their systems."

Married couples are usually pretty good... sometimes. A month before we left Provo, a newlywed couple moved into the apartment directly across from us. One day I noticed a huge sign taped to their front door. It read something like this -

"Dear Hunka Hunka Burning Love,

I am your love slave. Whatever you want, I will do. The handcuffs are on the table. You are so hot. Be mine tonight.

Love Slave"

I thought they would be embarrassed and take the sign down immediately, but they left it up for over a week. The inevitable awkward encounters with them occurred on the stairwell soon after. It took everything in me not to call one of them "Love Slave" each time we passed.

So, back to those of you who say that Erik and I need to show more public displays of affection towards each other. Well, I'm going to do something different. I may not write mushy declarations of love to my husband on my blog, but tonight I am going to say the most romantic thing possible to him, in public. I don't care if it makes any of you feel uncomfortable. Here I go -

Honey, I'm excited about your new fish tank.


  1. I enjoyed this blog very much it put a smile on my face.

  2. I have been accused (by my bishop!) of not loving my husband because I am not showing PDA! I really was in shock when my bishop accused me of all of this. So the next Sunday I looked around the room to try to see if I was that different - lo and behold this couple that sat a few rows ahead of us was quite the site! They had 5 children ranging in age from 13-2. I looked up at them during the talks and the wife had her husband's hand in her hand and she was holding it up to her face, rubbing it on her cheek and kissing it! No lie!!!!
    I thought if that's what the bishop wants to see then forget it - he can think I hate my husband. Oh, also when I told my husband that we apparently had the ward thinking we didn't like each other he cracked up - it was a joke between us for quite a while. Sometimes it's shocking what a church leader will stick their nose into.

  3. I should probably clarify that when I looked around the rest of the room the rest of the couples seemed as tired, and separate as my husband and I. It's funny now to see that man (our ex-bishop) sit next to his wife - he doesn't hold her hand or put his arm around her - ohhhh maybe they don't love each other either!?!?

  4. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.



  5. Love the kissing picture! Nice kiss, Cristin! Not sure where we fit in the PDA catagory. New Year's Eve is usually the only kissing picture you will ever see of us now...and with so many teenagers in the house now...any PDA gets their eyes rolling and leaving the room. Sometimes we do it on purpose, just to GET them to leave the room! :-)

  6. that picture is disturbing. Too much.

  7. I really want to know who that couple was. I think I have an idea.

    I am anti-PDA, but maybe I secretly just hate my husband. I always think that people who are all over each other in public secretly hate each other and are trying to convince the world otherwise.

    When my parents came to visit last fall Hayden said, "why are they always holding hands?" and Zach said under his breath "they hate each other."

  8. Like Kimberly, I'm sitting here trying to figure out who moved into that apartment!

    My favorite story of too much PDA comes from my brother. He lived in a ward once where a couple gazing lovingly into each other's eyes (as if it were a love song in a musical) sang the opening song of Sunday School, which happened to be "I am a Child of God." It took my brother's full self-restraint to keep from laughing out loud. I'm not sure I would have been able to hide my snickers.

  9. After Cody and I got married we went to the married student ward... that lasted for a total of one week. There was so much PDA going on during Sacrament/Sunday School that we wondered if anyone was actually listening to the speakers. We switched to the family ward the next week; we decided 20 screaming kids was less distracting then 50 couples making out in church!

  10. BYU is pretty good (from my experience) about the whole PDA thing considering how many engaged couples there are there.
    BUT last semester before this one class every day was this couple that had to freekishly cuddle all over each other on the hall floor to the entrance of the class----It took all my willpower not to scream "Get married and get it over with already!!!"
    It actually kind of boils my blood that people need to do that kind of thing. My Mother-in-law confronted my husband before we were married to tell him of her concerns over my lack of affection--here I am trying to do the right thing--guess you just can't win.

  11. Frankly, the fact that you have two children tells me a little TMI...

  12. Well since most of the comments are anti-PDA I wanted to speak up and say that I like a LITTLE PDA. Obviously I can't stand the make out in public or uncomfortableness that comes when trying to talk to someone and the other person can't leave them alone. But I think it is sweet when I see couples who have been married for several years holding hands are getting a kiss, even if it's not quite quick enough for some. I guess it's because there are so many people that have sad marriages and to see some affection, I think it's wonderful. That doesn't mean that everyone has to do it. If you aren't ok with any PDA, that's fine. But if the couple is not making-out then be glad they do love each other.

  13. Nice that it's mostly wives (moms, even) posting on here. I've noticed that when couples participate in PDA, it is USUALLY the woman initiating it, while the man is smart enough to take it and enjoy it. I loved the affection and wasn't embarrassed to participate if people saw (it's not like we made out or french-kissed in public). Some women feel shafted when their significant other is to embarrassed to show their affection for them in front of others. It's a "prove their love to the world" kind of action and it builds confidence in the relationship. Some couples need it, some don't, and some just plain enjoy it and don't care who's watching. Frankly, if it weren't for kids and hormones, business, stress, I'd like to think Emily would still like it, and I'd still love to reciprocate. When we were first married, we would get compliments on our public affection (holding hands, arms around shoulders, nuzzling, affectionate glances) by older guys at church who encouraged us to keep it up until we were their age. This happened at least 3 times by different men.

    I know Erik used to enjoy participating in PDA's too. No offense, just honesty. Most often (not always), it's the woman who starts it/needs it, and the guy often just goes along with it either way (which is a smart thing to do ;-)

  14. Wow REALLY funny blogs. Good job Cristin. As I was reading this post, Salesi said, "it runs in the family". OH yeah and that pic of you two is kind of nasty.. I mean Erik is like kissing your face off...eww who kisses like that?

  15. LOL - you are so funny! I feel uncomfortable about PDA - both doing it and seeing it. And how awkward with the love slave thing - yikes!

  16. I am trying so hard to remember who lived there, that is so funny!



Related Posts with Thumbnails