3.25.2009

DVD REVIEW: TWILIGHT


There are probably about 1,000 people in the world (excluding North Korea) who have never read a Stephanie Meyer book. I am one of those people.* This was a conscious decision. Vampires do not intrigue me. Giggling teenagers clutching on to this book like it was their real life baby does not intrigue me. TEAM EDWARD shirts do not intrigue me. I love American Idol, High School Musical, Lost, and The Office because they do not include vampires. (Whether or not Lost includes vampires is highly questionable at this point though.)

So, it was with great trepidation that I watched Twilight last night. This was it, I was destroying my innocence. I would no longer by a Twilight virgin.

Really?!? This is what all the hubbub is about? Really?!!!

SPOILER ALERT. Oh wait, that is unnecessary since everyone has seen this movie or read the book except for me. Bella moves to Washington to live with her Dad. She meets Edward who always looks constipated. He's a vegetarian vampire. They kiss and sit in the top of a tree. Edward's vampire family drives really sweet cars and lives in a fancy house. Some mean vampires try to get Bella. Edward protects her. The end... or is it the beginning?

Edward looking especially constipated in this picture.

So, there you have it. I know that most of you will probably say that I need to read the books to gain a full understanding of what makes Twilight so wonderful. That might be true. However, I still don't get why everyone finds this story so fascinating.

When I think of people who are into vampires I think of those students who wear all black and practice their sword fighting skills in front of the Wilkinson Center at BYU. Although, in this case, that rule doesn't apply. Things don't make sense anymore. At least I can say I saw Twilight and I can move on with my life.

GRADE: B- (Cheesy and an admirable effort to make vampires appealing.)

*
I did read 2 pages of Breaking Dawn last summer while camping, but that doesn't count.

29 comments:

  1. I like the books. They are entertaining. I watched the movie for the second time last night. It is so terribly painful. I can't believe you only gave it a B-, especially having never read the book. I only hope the second one will be better and that you will read the books. I held off for a long while, but if you are in the mood for some innocent entertainment, without having to work too hard, they are worth the read.

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  2. This cracks me up that you gave it a B-! If I hadn't read the books, I would have given it much less! Just like you said it, you really do have to read the book to appreciate the movie...even then I still think the movie is cheesy. I was against reading the books too, I had no interest in a book about vampires. However, when I finally gave in (mainly because I was alone for a week while SPencer was at scout camp)I really did love the books like everyone says! Maybe if you ever have time like that to yourself you can give them a try!

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  3. I read Twilight forever ago... like when it first came out because I heard that a BYU grad had written a YA novel and when I hear that, I hunt down the book and read it. (Exception: Fablehaven.) I had just finished it when my book club was going to be reading Dracula for our October book. I mentioned Twilight just as an interesting thing since it also involves a vampire and we'd just read The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (another YA book) and we were going to be reading Dracula. Everyone thought I was nuts when I tried to explain that it was a teenage love story involving a vampire. They all looked at me like "Oh, she was a Buffy fan." I've never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Nor will I ever. Most of my book club is way more obsessed with the Twilight series now than I ever was. But I did enjoy the books. The movie was okay. And knowing about all the cheesey stuff you do like (ie: High School Musical, American Idol, etc.) you'd probably actually enjoy these books. But, now that there's a bandwagon to jump on, I'm sort of stepping back from the whole thing. Yes, I read them. Yes, I enjoyed them. Yes, some friends and I went and saw the movie together in the theater. I don't own a Team Edward shirt. I don't even own any of the books. But they were fun.

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  4. I've never read it either. Vampire things are on my list of not so interesting. Plus if I haven't had time to read my scriptures, I consciously ban myself from other books. I think studying and teaching English burned me out on pleasure reading.
    Enough true confessions-- now all the avid readers won't want to be my friend. Maybe I should start an anti-book club?

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  5. Maybe you'll like these instead:

    http://theboard.byu.edu/index.php?area=viewall&id=49967

    http://theboard.byu.edu/?area=viewall&id=44374

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  6. I haven't read them either and don't really plan to. I thought the movie was SO teeny bopper DRAMATIC.

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  7. I have strong feelings against these books. My son however, is a huge fan. (I know--what??!!)
    Had to take him to see the movie and felt silly even sitting in the theater. Did try to read the book for his sake some time after the first one came out but just couldn't do it.
    This is what I've decided it is--a play on the most pathetic young teen girl fantasy.
    It makes me ashamed of my own sex. Really.

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  8. My girls will not like my comment here...I thought it was way overrated. Sure, good teenager love story...except that I don't want my teens to fall in love in high school....don't want them making out with boys in their bedrooms wearing only their underwear. In fact, don't want them making out at all! Didn't like the message. (Wow. I sound like a mom that's not very with it.) I haven't forbid my kids from reading the books, but we talked a lot after the movie. It does open the discussion forum for all kinds of things.

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  9. I read the first book and was thoroughly frustrated by Bella and Edward's incredibly superficial (read physical) relationship.

    I don't think that teenagers and young adults necessarily need to be reading Dante and Milton, but there are much better YA books out there that portray love and life much more poignantly. I think it's hilarious when people talk about "appreciating" these books, like they're some kind of great literature. To those people I say, if you find this kind of fiction entertaining, fine, at least you're reading, but please don't try to convince me that these books have any literary merit whatsoever.

    I do, however, think this whole vampire fantasy frenzy is fascinating from a cultural and gender studies perspective.

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  10. You definitely DON'T need to read the book. You pretty much summed it up. I vowed not to read past the first book in this series. You are welcome to join our "I Hate Twilight" party next month, where we will be watching the movie for the first time and making fun of it.

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  11. I can't imagine liking the movie without having read the book. My sister in law totally had to talk me into reading it...I was originally turned off by the vampire aspect. I enjoyed the books. The book is better than the movie. :)

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  12. I haven't read them and don't plan to. I'm not even sure I want to see the movie. Admittedly, it's because they're so popular. So I guess it's really a pride thing on my part, but that's okay.

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  13. I liked the books, didn't love 'em, but I would take Twilight over High School Musical any day- no cheesy annoying songs that get stuck in your head!

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  14. I liked the books a lot. She didn't write it to be a teenager love saga and I don't think its appropriate as one. It was meant for an adult audience (not porn...just a good adult read). The only thing that bothers me about this series is that they target it to a young audience.

    The book is way better than the movie. The movie only touches on 1/3 of the information. I'm suprised you gave it a B-

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  15. Well I'm with you on this...it was over-rated. I read the entire series b/c my oldest 3 daugthers read them and were slightly consumed by them. I admit while I read them, I was anxious to find out who-did-what-to-whom, and my FAVORITE part of the entire series was the 3 blank pages in Book 2. (I don't remember the name of it.)
    But once I was finished reading them all, I was over it...and while I'd like to see the movie, we'll probably rent it instead of buying it, b/c my girls saw it at the theaters on opening night...the midnight showing--no less. I'd say a B- is fair.

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  16. I, like you, decided I wasn't going to read the books -- vampires and werewolves? Yeah, not my genre. When I finally caved, I devoured the books. Read the first and the last one twice.

    However, when I saw the movie, I laughed most of the way through it and thought that it could have been done sooo much better. I seriously couldn't believe that people waited in line at midnight to get the movie.

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  17. I haven't read the book nor have I watched the movie. I am so tired of the hype and watching everyone I know turn to giggling idiots when talking about it. I am tired of hearing how I MUST read this series and see the awesome movie...I am glad to see I am not alone in not having read the books...

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  18. I read the first book because Katie ranted on and on about how amazing it was. I didn't even really like it. I read half of the second one and don't care to finish it. I really think people just like it because they are supposed to like it because everyone loves it. I laughed at the whole movie. But I will see the second one because I hear they will have a much bigger budget for the second one and I'm just curious.

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  19. I thought the books were a good read, though you will never catch me sporting Twilight paraphernalia on my body, vehicle, or blog. Or anywhere. The story didn't FASCINATE me more than any other sappy romance novel. Like I said, I thought they were good reads (for the summer). The end.

    (I do know that Twilight fans in the movie theatre were the filthiest pig-slobs I've ever had the misfortune to clean up after, though. That speaks to the cult following's mindset, perhaps.)

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  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  21. I don't understand the comment that the author didn't intend these books for the teenage audience. Her series is about a couple in high school...how is that not geared toward teenagers? If they're geared toward adults than the language is too simple and juvenile. I thought they were just OK.

    I too was annoyed with all the high school lust, but I'm a mom of three boys so maybe that's where that comes from. I definitely wouldn't want my teenagers reading the last book for sure. I have yet to see the movie b/c overall I was unimpressed with the series.

    Oh and I read in a few articles where the Twilight series was compared to Harry Potter and to me those comments are laughable.

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  22. Loved the books, didn't care for the movie AT ALL. It definitely wasn't a good representation of the books (seriously, it was some of the worst acting I have ever seen and they changed so many things to the point that it didn't even make sense!). But I have to admit, I find it annoying that so many people criticize the books when they haven't even read them. If you read them and didn't like them, fine, but don't criticize them when you haven't even read them!

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  23. As with most things, the movie did enough justice to the books to keep readers satisfied, but the books are much better.

    They're totally teen-lit, but I found them to be fun, easy reads.

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  24. I love the books. And I think Stephenie Meyer is a really good writer.

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  25. I am still a Twilight Virgin! But I did make a deal with Kirsten that if she reads Harry Potter, than I'll read Twilight.

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  26. 25 comments!? woa, sorry I don't care to read them, or the books, or the movie.

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  27. AMEN!!! I HAD to comment and say that I'd glad to have finally found someone who shares my SAME feelings about Twilight!! NEVER read the books (not even a page)! NEVER watched the movie! And have NEVER wanted to do either!!! Thanks for the DVD review though. The only thing i knew about Twilight was that it's about Vampires. And that's where I stopped listening!

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  28. I'm one of the 1000 with no real desire to exit the "club" either, so thanks for the spoiler. And for the record I'm also one of the 1000 having never seen Titanic. And I do consider myself normal.

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  29. I have never read the WHOLE series. In fact, I started the first one...twice! I can't get through it. I am not intrigued with it like the rest of the nation seems to be. I'm with you. My husband however LOVES the book (what we've read so far anyway) AND loves the movie as well. I did not appreciate either one the way he does but who am I to say? You'd think my husband wears a skirt but he really doesn't!

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