I hate the dentist. Not any dentist in particular, just all dentists. I never have a good experience. I always leave feeling like a failure. Oh, and I don't like how most of them don't work Fridays. That is irritating.

Today I had my first dentist's appointment in 3 and a half years. This was a big deal for me. The last time I went to the dentist, I read my chart upside down as it was hanging behind me while they were filling my 4 cavities. Under my name it said, "GAGS EASILY. PHOBIC." I thought to myself, "Great, I've been labeled a problem. No wonder everyone here is talking down to me."

This appointment today was exciting. Erik had already visited this dentist and was very impressed by him because he uses computers. (I know, wow, computers.) I was very excited to check out the dentist's computers and also try out my new approach. I was going to be completely, 100%, honest. No filter from the brain to the mouth. It went something like this -

Dentist: How often do you floss?

Me: Christmas and my birthday.

Dentist: What was the name of your last dentist? I'd like to get your records.

Me: Heck if I know. I hate the dentist, so I try not to remember personal things like that.

Dentist: Why don't you like the dentist?

Me: I gag easily and I'm phobic. One time it took 3 dental hygienists and the dentist just to take my x-rays. (One to hold me down, one to hold the x-ray in my mouth, one to position the camera, and the dentist to push the x-ray button.) So, I hope you are well staffed.

I used the same methods I used to get through natural childbirth to not gag during the x-rays. Then the dentist gave me the wonderful news that I didn't have any cavities. Wow, I finally feel like I passed. I still hate the dentist though.

I wonder if this has anything to do with my phobia -


  1. hahahhahahahaha!! so funny.

    so no cavities? wow. I'm saying wow because YOU DO drink 1 cup of melted chocolate a day....

  2. I haven't been to the dentist in over three years too. Zach keeps telling me to make an appointment and I just don't want to go! I've had the worst experiences at the dentist. One imparticular would be when the hygenist was chatting with another lady while scratching my teeth with her pick. I was scared for my life and then she scratched my gums up. Oh the horror!

  3. I think I am the only person alive who actually likes their dentist! I cant say I like the experience, but if I have to go, I like the one I go to! (I also don't think I have ever encountered one that doesn't work Fridays)~Heather

  4. You know how i feel about this subject. I'm right there with ya. And YAY! You PASSED! That's great news.

    But seriously, floss. You'll be amazed at the treasures you can find...

  5. That was a scary video, I don't think I want to go ever again!! Hannah & J.R. just went this week, no cavities for either of them (double yeah!). Poor J.R. cried when they were doing the polishing and stuff. I gag easily too, and my tongue has a mind of its own when I go to the dentist!

  6. ahhh! this story definitely hits home. i HATE the dentist, and definitely need to make an appointment... but i am so not looking forward to it.

  7. I agree--it's totally irritating that they don't work on Fridays. And that they're usually closed by 4:00 in the afternoon. That's dumb. But I guess nice if you work for a dentist. And about the clip--I LOVE that movie. I'm just sayin'. :)

  8. Thanks for reminding me of LIttle Shop of Horrs I love that play. WOW THREE YEARS!??????? are you serious???? Yeah when I got my first cavity (not until I was 23) I CRIED! I was so surprised and scared to get it filled. I;ve been putting off my 6 month appointment though already a 2 months late. Are you serious you only floss 2 times a year? please tell me you joke.

  9. Cristin, I just saw this post and had to laugh. I have always loved this part of Little Shop the best. Of all of Steve Martin's roles (and he's had some good ones) I do think this one is my favorite and deserves an Oscar (seriously)


  10. I guess I can't say I blame you. I know the dental office isn't anyone's favorite place to go... unless you are Bill Murray. But as a hygienist...I just have to say, I LOVE patients like you. You are my opportunity to change your mind! AND I have been able to take plenty of x-rays on gaggers, without making them gag. Bring it on sista!



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