Today while visiting with my grandmother, she suddenly interrupted me and in a concerned voice asked -

Alcoholly: Darling, why don't you wear makeup?

Me: Ummmm.... (Not sure what to say since I was wearing makeup, just not as much as she was, evidently.)

Alcoholly: Dearheart, you have children, so you obviously got a man somehow. You owe it to Erik to wear makeup.

Me: Okay. I do...

Alcoholly: (Interrupts in a condescending voice) Please wear makeup, sweetheart. Okay?

This is the second time in a week that someone has accused me of not wearing makeup when I was. I'm starting to think that I am either a) really ugly and no amount of makeup will help or b) I don't know how to do my makeup. (Those are probably both partly true.)

In all honesty, I am really enjoying visiting with my grandmother. We went out to lunch today and she told me stories about her youth. I found out why she never married a man of her own faith ("the Jewish men are all fat and ugly!") and her thoughts on Obama ("can't trust him").

If only my self-esteem didn't have to take such a beating. Thanks, Grandma, for the advice. Erik don't leave me. I'll wear more makeup.


  1. I'm sorry cristin! You are just so naturally beautiful looking, You really dont need any make up. I only said that because we were about to take pictures and I assumed you would be loading on the eyeshadow and lip gloss like all of us were.
    but... this is a really funny post and the fact I said it to you too makes the story even funnier!
    You know I no longer wear eyeliner! Maybe u could just wear colored lip gloss.

  2. My grandma always wanted us to curl our hair. Like we weren't pretty, or dressed-up unless our hair was curled.

  3. I thought a good make-up job was the one that made it look like you weren't wearing make-up. Isn't that right? Or maybe that's just what "Nance" (that's not even her real name!) tells me to justify her not wearing make-up.

  4. I always enjoy a good Alcoholly saga. She sounds like quite the character.

    The word verification word I have to type in is "supec."

  5. Poor Cristin! Is this the same grandma that wraps the "interesting" Christmas gifts?

    It is good if you don't LOOK like you are wearing up. People are supposed to see your face not your makeup.

    Maybe it's her old age and bad eye site? :)

  6. This makes me laugh! My great-grandma told me one time that my shoes were "funny looking, nice but funny looking." I think I was maybe 10.

  7. I'm at the library right now and tried hard not to laugh out loud, but failed. It's just the way you write! I think you are one of those people who can pull off no make up or very little! Not me! But anyway, your grandma cracks me up! Your blog is one of my favorites to read because I can always count on a good laugh or something I totally relate to! So thanks:)

  8. She sounds so awesome. Zack's grandma does the same thing to me but with my hair. "You would really look more feminine if you curled your hair."

  9. Hello, this is the same grandma who told me that if I gained more than 10 pounds of pregnancy weight and couldn't zip my skirt up when I left the hospital than it was all my fat! you really are beautiful cristin. It's a good thing you don't wear a lot of make up.

  10. I was expecting a comment from Eric in here saying how beautiful you are and how you don't need any makeup, come on Eric hop to it! I only wear mascara, so I'm in the same boat as you.

  11. Perhaps she just needs a better pair of glasses?



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