12.08.2008

THE ANATOMY OF A PICTURE

Here is a list of things I would rather do than take family pictures at Thanksgiving -

1. Let a dog lick my hand
2. Speak at church
3. Push my double stroller uphill
4. Have eyes on my butt

Let me explain:

Since Thanksgiving is about the only time my family is all together, we have started a tradition of taking family pictures. This sounds easy, but it's not. In fact, it is miserable.*

For my sisters, this is an opportunity to play dress-up! Kelley sent an email out to the family prior to Thanksgiving containing this picture -

You'll notice how she even cut the models out and placed them in front of the lake where we normally take the picture. (I laughed for 10 minutes about that.) She told us that she had the dresses for us to wear. I thought, "Great. Less for me to do." Flash forward a month later and she hands me this maternity shirt and beads. Gee, thanks, Kelley. How did you know I wanted to look pregnant?

When I asked for another outfit, she said, "You're too fat for the other dresses." She was right. I was too fat because I don't wear a size 14 in girls. Lucky for me, Kelley had another dress to make me look pregnant and I was able to wear that one. Then she assumed I hadn't done my hair and makeup, which I had. THEN, just when I didn't think it could get any worse, she laid this one on me -

"You're just too much of a Mom, Cristin."

So, with those kind words, I got in the car for my last family picture. I told everyone there, if we do this again, we are a) hiring a professional and b) selecting our own clothes. Erik is convinced that this was all a plot by Kelley to look the best.

I really don't get how Kelley's dress matches her color scheme. Do you?

A rare picture of Charlie attacking Luke. (It's always the other way around.)

A cute picture of my parents with their grandsons.


Erik is saying to me here, "That dress looks awful on you!" I'm saying, "I know, oh ha ha ha! Who cares! Smile!"

Ah... sisters. Gotta love 'em.

*I just wanted to make sure you know that I am aware that I sound like a brat in this post.

23 comments:

  1. I love the family picture of you guys with Luke squeezing Eric's mouth, love Eric's expression. I think you look good in the pics, I don't think you looked too maternal. You are a mom you know. Now if you were wearing "mom jeans" that would be a whole different story.

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  2. The collage of models pasted in front of the lake is so funny! I agree with the above comment too, you look great!

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  3. Awww...the things we do for family! But I think that you look great...in BOTH outfits.

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  4. If anyone should be mad its me! I wore the huge maternity shirt and a skirt too big on me with flip flops. I just didn't care anymore. I saw everyone else arguing, and I thought, WHATEVER! BRING It on! But now after looking at the pictures, I should have been a little more demanding. I really look weird. . and pregnant.

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  5. You'd rather have eyes on your butt? Cristin, you crack me up! You do look great in the pictures, though!

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  6. I think Erik's suspicions are right.

    The word verification word I have to enter is "malver."

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  7. Ha. I love this post. I love that Kelley sent the pictures of models by the lake. I think you're right. I bet it was a ploy to look better than everyone else. That's a good idea. I think I'll try that with my family this year. I'll make everyone where denim button up shirts. Everyone except for me that is. You still look cute though.

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  8. This post had me cracking up! I totally understand why you hate doing this! My sisters and I take pictures together every year as well, and we fight just about the entire time about it! What to wear, where to take the picture, who will take the picture...it goes on and on and on! I think last year may have been the worse though, because I was prego, I was very limited on what I could wear and 2 of my sisters were awful about it! Oh, and no, none of you look prego in the picture!

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  9. Ah, how funny. Kelly would have a nightmare with my family. We got tired of the stress of family photos, so someone came up with a wise idea-- dress up in pre-selected theme outfits. For instance, the first year we all brought old fashioned clothes and made a western like pic (think old timey tin type photo.) We all stood in front of a blue tarp that was hung as our backdrop, then the photos were shot in B&W. It was hilarious. The next year was Halloween costumes (nothing scary, just silly) and the old folks in my family had a blast! So, our family pictures are laughable, but actually fun to take. I guess on some things, you just have to pick the lesser of the bad and go with it. However, I think the pictures you shared are great, and you look beautiful--you Mom you Cristin.

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  10. see this is where your problem is and everyone elses too- YOU (and everyone else) just ASSUMED that since I said I had 4 dresses that I could bring that meant you didn't have to bring a thing, but do you remember I told you to bring a spare black skirt and ruffle blouse and you instead brought a plaid skirt with a crisp white cotton blouse and honestly, you really weren't giving me much to work with so you were forced to wear my "ugly" maternity dress. which is NOT ugly!
    and if this was really just a plot for me to look good- then why was I willing to let you wear the dress I wore?! You could;ve worn it but you are too FAT!

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  11. Kelley - I did bring a black skirt (see the pic of me in the first outfit) and a white ruffled blouse. I don't even own a crisp white blouse. I am 5'6" and weigh 120 pounds. Sorry I am too fat for your clothes from Gap Kids.

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  12. I've decided next year to hire someone to stand by with a comb and make-up so I have half a chance of looking presentable. I do feel SO much better learning that the dresses Kelley was trying to squeeze me into were from Gap Kids. I was pretty bummed that I couldn't even get my arms through the sleeves.

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  13. Next year you can all wear black! :) I hope you use that family picture as your Christmas card!

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  14. Man Cristin, if you're fat I'm a whale. Seriously, gotta love the dynamics of sisters. I have two and I totally get it...both my sisters are a size 0. I'm the "fat" sister at a size 6. Just hang out with me more and you'll feel super tiny and p.s. you are super tiny. Also, I easily fit back into my gap kids clothes after baby #1 and even back into skinny clothes after baby #2 but it just gets harder with each baby. Oh and my goal weight is 120 lb. and I am easily 2 inches shorter than you.

    Zach hates family photos and refuses to have them taken. I had to sneak pictures of him at his swearing in. Here we were at this huge event in his life and I was secretly taking pictures like some stalker.

    I have more I could write on this topic, but I won't. Just know I understand completely.

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  15. The dress was really from a girl section? ANyway I actually have one of the entire family that I cropped and "fixed" the coloring and I think it looks as best as it will, I will mail it all to you, it looks decent, but yeah next year I think I will be encharge since I know everything

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  16. OH yeah I have said this before and I will say it AGAIN! NO MOER TENNIS SHOES FOR LUKE !!! they look HORRIBLE! just go barefoot or something

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  17. NON OF THEM WERE FROM THE KIDS DEPARTMENT!!!! Let alone the Gap- I don't shop at the gap!!! The dress Cristin wore was a size 6 in misses!

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  18. and these pictures look better than last years. kaci, you are in charge next year. and I am not bringing any clothes for ANYBODY. just 10 dresses for myself and I will change clothes every couple shots.

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  19. OH man, my commetn didn't show up! I was just saying how I can't wait for Kelley to have kids and then see how practical it is to have such "fancy" clothes with spit up and poop on them! We are mom's and I think you look great, Cristin. Wow, and if 120 lbs is fat, then I'm a heifer!

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  21. LOL - oh Kelley has so much to learn (referring to the FAT comment) :)

    You've had 2 children, you're not fat, and you will probably never fit many of your pre-pregnancy clothes again. Life goes on!

    I like that Kelley's dress is red though and everyone else has more neutrally colored clothing - lol:)

    I'm sure that Kelley really did have good intentions though :)

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  22. wow...

    Our family picture memo was "This weekend at the park- wear jeans and a sweater. Leave the dog at home."

    FWIW, I thought you looked lovely, and perhaps your sister should be given milkshakes intravenously.

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