11.21.2008

SPRAY ON PANTYHOSE


I have a problem. I think it looks tacky to wear no pantyhose to church during the winter. However, I also know that wearing skin colored pantyhose puts me in the old lady category, but it's cold and I don't know what else to do. So, sue me.

The other day I was at Walgreens shopping for pantyhose when I found the most intriguing product, Sally Hansen Perfection Spray on Pantyhose. I stared at it for a long time before doing what I usually do when faced with problematic fashion decisions - I called Kelley.

Me: Have you ever heard of Spray-on Pantyhose?

Kelley: Well... (long pause), I saw this special on Deal or No Deal. That is what the ladies with the suitcases on that show wear, but -

Me: STOP. You had me at Deal or No Deal. I'm buying it.

Kelley: BUT... they are on television so it could look really weird.

Me: I don't care. I need to live a little.

I couldn't wait to try the Spray On Pantyhose! Every day I wondered, "Will it create a Spiderman type web around my leg? Will it be like sunless tanner?"

[I'm interrupting this post to tell you a famous story in our family about my sister and sunless tanner. Kelley once covered herself in sunless tanner prior to a date to Knottsberry Farm. She and her date got off the log ride and her date said, "Um, wow, that water was dirty because your clothes were splashed with brown water." When she told her date that it was actually her sunless tanner that had washed off onto her clothes, he thought she was supercool and admitted that he was wearing sunless tanner too. Ahhh, how sweet.]

Sunday arrived. I followed the directions on the bottle, sprayed the "pantyhose" onto my hand and rubbed it on my legs. I asked Erik what he thought, "You, uh, have something on your legs? I don't see it. I mean, I guess they aren't shiny."

So, uh, yeah. Very anticlimactic. Not that I wanted it to be noticeable, but it didn't really look any different. My review: This stuff is just like the equivalent of rubbing foundation all over your legs. If you get dark foundation, I suppose it will make your legs look darker, but it feels so silly putting on. Also, warning, this stuff is messy. I stained my white dress shirt. Avoid it.

11 comments:

  1. ya I think I only admitted this to the guy because I didn't really like him and I thought if anything it would turn him off. I guess it kind of backfired on me... oh snap!

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  2. Weird, Kelley dating a guy who ALSO wore sunless tanner? CRISTIN-- I ALWAYS wear nude panty hose to church almost every sunday. Or atlest when my dress is short. Its freezing even in the summer in our chapel and I think it looks more dressed up. Anyway mine aren't that noticeble, well maybe they are but who cares my legs would be sooooo white if I didn't.

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  3. I have solved this problem by wearing long skirts that scream "I'm a Mom". Yikes! I wouldn't recommend that route either.

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  4. good to know.

    i live in az- it is zero pantyhose all year long for me. is that tacky?

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  5. Yep, I live in AZ too. Don't even own panty hose over here. And I DO wear long skirts that scream I'm a mom. Double tacky???

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  6. I've tried this stuff before! But the darker color! I went to church super paranoid that everyone would be staring at my legs or that I would have bad streaks.

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  7. No nylons. No way. Ever. Maybe I should think that, being near albino. Have you tried tall boots? At least only your knees are showing.

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  8. My heart hurts that I am no longer on your favourite list. Or any other list for that matter. Pain.

    It's good to know this is a ridiculous purchase--I have been intrigued by it for years now, but could never rationalise it. Then again, I only wear pantyhose at the temple. Never anywhere else. So maybe that's why I never bought it.

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  9. Love your blog!

    It's the former pageant girl in me-nylons for closed-toe shoes. I know, lame that this is a remnant of a period I've tried to block out, but it's what I do. That, and I'm bordering on albino-ish, and the nylons really help.

    Pageant girls love the spray nylons, too. Then again, we've worn stripper heels with swimsuits for scholarship money- our logic can't be trusted.

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