SPRAY ON PANTYHOSE
I have a problem. I think it looks tacky to wear no pantyhose to church during the winter. However, I also know that wearing skin colored pantyhose puts me in the old lady category, but it's cold and I don't know what else to do. So, sue me.
The other day I was at Walgreens shopping for pantyhose when I found the most intriguing product, Sally Hansen Perfection Spray on Pantyhose. I stared at it for a long time before doing what I usually do when faced with problematic fashion decisions - I called Kelley.
Me: Have you ever heard of Spray-on Pantyhose?
Kelley: Well... (long pause), I saw this special on Deal or No Deal. That is what the ladies with the suitcases on that show wear, but -
Me: STOP. You had me at Deal or No Deal. I'm buying it.
Kelley: BUT... they are on television so it could look really weird.
Me: I don't care. I need to live a little.
I couldn't wait to try the Spray On Pantyhose! Every day I wondered, "Will it create a Spiderman type web around my leg? Will it be like sunless tanner?"
[I'm interrupting this post to tell you a famous story in our family about my sister and sunless tanner. Kelley once covered herself in sunless tanner prior to a date to Knottsberry Farm. She and her date got off the log ride and her date said, "Um, wow, that water was dirty because your clothes were splashed with brown water." When she told her date that it was actually her sunless tanner that had washed off onto her clothes, he thought she was supercool and admitted that he was wearing sunless tanner too. Ahhh, how sweet.]
Sunday arrived. I followed the directions on the bottle, sprayed the "pantyhose" onto my hand and rubbed it on my legs. I asked Erik what he thought, "You, uh, have something on your legs? I don't see it. I mean, I guess they aren't shiny."
So, uh, yeah. Very anticlimactic. Not that I wanted it to be noticeable, but it didn't really look any different. My review: This stuff is just like the equivalent of rubbing foundation all over your legs. If you get dark foundation, I suppose it will make your legs look darker, but it feels so silly putting on. Also, warning, this stuff is messy. I stained my white dress shirt. Avoid it.