10.15.2008

DOUBLE STANDARDS


Kids are gross. Look at this picture of Charlie... isn't he just disgusting?

I'm laying on the bed with Charlie, thinking how cute he is, when he suddenly spits up in my face. Before I have a chance to act, he rolls his head into the puddle of puke. When I pick him up, he farts. I lift him up to smell his bottom and notice a huge blow out. I unbutton his onesie and it's worse than my wildest dreams. Poop up to his neck. It's all over my hands and arms now. What do I do?

Without washing up, I pick something out of my teeth and go eat a taco of course. That is because this is my child and his poop is as pure as he is. Organic, if you will.

Alright, it's not that extreme, and I promise, I do wash my hands. However, it's been scientifically proven that mothers prefer the smell of their own baby's poop. (If you only knew how many times I have wished I could just bottle the smell of Luke's poop into a perfume and douse myself in it!) One theory is that if a mother was disgusted by the smell of her baby's poop, she would be unable to care for her baby....'tis true, 'tis true.

Why, just the other day I experienced this phenomenon. I was babysitting the children of a friend. One of the little boys had two accidents while he was at my house. I stepped down the stairs, barefoot, into a puddle of pee. When I realized what it was, I started freaking out as if I had just set off a land mine. I bleached the floor and scrubbed my feet. I used gloves to remove his dirty clothes. I was freaking out, big-time freaking out.

It's such a double standard when it comes to the wee wee and woo woo of a child that is not your own. I feel awful for the poor souls who must change my children's diapers. No wonder my babysitter always puts my kids' diapers on backwards. She's probably so grossed out while she's doing it, that she has her eyes closed when she is changing them. I don't know why she's so grossed out. Their poo smells like roses to me. Ahhh.

17 comments:

  1. oh man!!! way cute pictures....
    gross story...but cute pictures.

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  2. I loved this post! Although, I can't say I LOVED the smell of my kid's poop...but it was much more tolerant than anybody else's kids. In fact, when Hank was a baby, I learned how to plug my nose without actually touching my nose. Hank loved to squirm while I was changing him, so I'd say "No, Hank, no!" while I'd change him. As he started learning to talk, his word for "No", was "Doe". We couldn't figure out why he wouldn't use the "N" sound, and tried to teach him how to say it correctly, but he kept saying "doe". Finally, we figured it out! He learned to say "No", when I was changing his diapers, and my nose was plugged. I was saying "Doe, Hank, Doe!", like I had a bad cold! I swear, he was about 3 years old when he finally figured out how to add the "n"!

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  3. it's true, it's true. i can hardly change my own neices or nephews without throwing up a little in my mouth.

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  4. How freaking CUTE is Charlie?! I hear you about the stink. I have no problems changing my own kid...but having to change someone elses kid makes me cringe. Why is that?

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  5. I think it goes for sick husband puke, too.
    I do know some moms who can't handle cleaning up their own kids poop, though. I wonder if there are certain poop-cleaning personalities.

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  6. As your husband and I can both testify, it's also been "scientifically" proven (meaning we have compared notes and both agree) that dudes prefer their own brand as well, if you know what I mean. It turns out you mothers are just as gross as we are.

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  7. I am going to have to disagree. Owen's poop makes me want to vomit daily. He smells awful. I have had this confirmed by everyone I know. But as terrible as he smells, I can deal with his poop better than another kid's.

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  8. It is a whole lot easier to deal with Ryan's poop. I think the worst poop I have ever dealt with is when I worked in the preschool...4 year old who ate salmon and eggs for breakfast every day. (He had special needs, that is why he was still in diapers.) It took almost an entire year for me to stop gagging when I changed him!

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  9. Yes, it is certainly preferable when they are babies. The poop doesn't smell that bad with breastfed babies. It's when they become toddlers that it becomes disgusting. But, I would rather change my own kid's stink than another's.

    Charlie is so cute too!

    It's really funny, the word verification for this comment looks like it would be pronounced "Yay Poo!"

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  10. Ha ha! That's funny! And Charlie is adorable!

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  11. Oh that little Charlie is changing and growing up way too fast!!! He is getting cuter and cuter if that is possible. I'm glad you are coming to visit in a couple of weeks....poopy diapers and all!Love, gramma

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  12. Baby poop - not bad.

    2 year old poop - BAD!

    Thanks for the laugh! I hope that was a piece of taco and not a piece of you know what - lol!

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  13. Wow Charlie is so cute!! I means baby gap cute!

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  14. It;s SO true! I am constantly squeezing snot out of Jonahs nose and wiping it on his shirt. I know that sounds awful. But the worst part is I don't wash my hands after!! HAHA! Because it's JONAH! There have only been a FEW times when Jonah has pooped and I could barely breathe. Most of the time I am like,"What are you talking about? I don't think it smells that bad." Charlie is so cute! Post MORE PICS PLEASE!

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  15. Well I don't know about his poop, but he sure is a cute little bugaboo.

    Bugaboo is the new word I use when referring to kids who I don't know. He's a bugaboo.

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  16. such cute pictures of charlie. i love the tongue one.

    it cracks me up whenever i have to change the diaper of someone else's baby and i about throw up the entire time. so gross. but i have changed a billion of my own kids' diapers with no problem.

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