I am going to share with you something that I may regret. I have an idea for an invention (cue the drum roll):


You might be laughing right now (or perhaps I am overestimating how funny I really am), but I am dead serious about this.

The main purpose for the baby handcuffs would be to control the baby's hands during a diaper change. Whenever I remove Charlie's diaper, his hands immediately go to his man pieces. Without fail, this happens every single time! If I hand him a toy to distract his hands, I just end up with a toy covered in poop. Seriously, this would solve a lot of problems.

It doesn't stop with just diaper changes. Think of the possibilities! Stop babies from sucking their thumbs, picking their noses, grabbing at whatever you don't want them to, etc. The list could go on forever.

I did a quick patent search and the only similar item I came up with was this:

At first glance, this idea looks a bit inhumane (especially because the infant resembles a robot), but we could get around that by turning it into some sort of educational toy. This might sound crazy, but think of the Pee-Pee Teepee. That invention is really stupid and now they sell it at Baby Gap!

Maybe I'm trying to do too much and an old fashioned piece of rope will just work. I'll keep you posted on how this goes.


  1. if you do it, could you make it in larger sizes for litte boys that can't keep their hands off those "special spots" while playing soccer? Or who can't stop rubbing their nose during a primary sacrament program?
    Love, mom lassen :-)

  2. Let the anti-comments begin - lol!

  3. you could have been a millionaire. You shouldn't have shared this.

  4. you must be really desperate...

  5. man, my baby has the SAME ISSUE. Holy CRAP (sorry to be punny) but he gets nastiness all over his hands a lot... and heaven forbid he then try to stick them into his MOUTH. YUCK! Squirmy Monster!

  6. The more I read your blog, the more I'm convinced there must be a conspiracy of silence among mothers.

  7. I love that drawing - it looks like a large Chinese Finger trap - only it's a Chinese Baby Trap. Good luck keeping your boy occupied!



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