I can no longer use the excuse, "I just had a baby" to avoid exercise. Dang it. I hate this.

Due to my short attention span, I need some sort of gimmick to get excited about an exercise program. That is how I acquired the Dance Dance Revolution game, numerous exercise DVD's and those "massive" five pound weights.

Someone gave us Darrin's Dance Grooves video as a wedding gift. Of course Erik was too cool to learn the choreography to Britney Spears' "Crazy" video. As you can see from the cover, one of the first moves Darrin teaches is to rock back and forth, pat your head, and rub your tummy, all at the same time in beat to "Bye, Bye, Bye" from Nsync. It was a little too advanced for me.

A few years into our marriage I bought Dolphina's Bellydancing DVD to "bring out the goddess in me." Although I had to close the blinds while I did it, I enjoyed myself until I hurt my neck doing one of the moves. In case you were wondering, Dolphina's DVD's have a great resale value on Ebay.

Just last week I shut all the blinds again and did my Denise Austin DVD. I really enjoyed making up stories about the girls behind Denise (the "Austinettes" is what I call them) while I was exercising. Were these girls also exercise instructors? Were they Denise's friends? Were they jealous of her? How much do they get paid? Are they all roommates? Are they fake smiling or really enjoying themselves? However, by the end of the DVD I wanted to scream if I heard Denise say "Rainbow Arms" one more time. I also got grossed out during the abdominal section when I had to lay on the floor and look underneath my couch. That's where all my sippy cups went!

Erik is currently doing this program called Crossfit. Don't bother going to the website, I'll explain how the program works: You go to Crossfit.com and they have all these videos of abnormally strong women doing an "exercise of the day." Their exercises are the kind of things seen in those Al Queda training videos (monkey bars, hopping through tires, etc.) The hope is that the men will feel stupid if they can't do the exercise because they watched a woman do it on the website.

What really happens (at least in my home), is that Erik watches the video (or "Exercise Porn" as I call it) and gets mad at me because I can't do the stuff like the "amazing" girls in the video. For example, in this Crossfit video a pregnant woman does a bunch of pull-ups -

Gee, thanks pregnant lady for making me feel like a wimp in front of my husband.

No matter how many times I tried to explain this to him, Erik did not comprehend why I could not do 50 pull ups while 6 months pregnant. A normal female can't even do one pull-up - RIGHT? (Just play along with my assumption so that I'll feel better about my physical capabilities.)

My other problem with Crossfit is that this is real exercise. It gives me awful flashbacks of having to meet those Presidential Fitness Tests in Elementary school. Plus, how can I be expected to lift 50 pound weights, when I can't even lift the bar?

There's got to be an easier (and more fun) way to get in shape.


  1. I'm glad to hear that you're getting a little vacation time. You're one lucky lady!

    I have a few work out videos that I do every once and awhile(though I haven't used them since Annabelle was born); right now I use my elliptical machine(that we found on craigslist) and some day I hope to have a tredmill to switch things up a little. The kids are allowed to watch about 40 minutes of a dvd while I have some "mommy time" on my elliptical machine...I read while I'm on there to keep my mind off the workout. It works really well for us and I'm able to do it mon. thru friday. When I had 2 I also walked A LOT. I got a double stroller and we used it every day, it was the best investment. I had to make sure to bring lots of snacks for our walks and I let them each bring a book or toy or something too.

  2. That pregnant lady doing those pull ups- thats just insane!!! You know what videos I use... 8 min. buns!!! Love those 8 min. work out videos.

  3. Well you sure make me feel guilty! I am still using the "I just had a baby excuse".. do you mean that doesn't work when your child is 8 months old? DANG IT! I laugh really hard when I picture you working out while Luke dances around you or something like that. ... P.S. I Love that you're blogging more now that you have soo much free time!

  4. i hate the fake tans and too bright white teeth. and i can't handle anything that requires not having two left feet. and i don't think i've ever done a pull-up. yikes.

  5. I prod Erik about his work-out cult, every day. Secretly, I would love to be able to do as well as the pregnant lady, but I think that it is just a bit too brutal for someone as sedentary as myself. I keep saying that I'll get the rollerblades out when it warms up / when we move / when I have time. Well, it's hot, we've moved, I'm just waiting for that time now...

    Danielle went on an online expedition to find work-out videos a few months ago. Most of them made me laugh almost to the point of crying, but she said some were OK. Don't know if she kept any or just deleted them.

  6. My conclusion...Erik only makes fun of you to make himself feel better(you know like those self concious kids in high school who put other people down to take the negative attention away from themselves)because he has no excuse to have some extra weight around his tummy. I'd like to see Erik do 50 pull-ups without a baby in his tummy. I think your doing fine. ANd yes you still do have an excuse...at least when your compared to Erik : ) I love you Erik : *

  7. I want Wii fitness. I have heard it's awesome. I am still pregnant so I use that as my excuse to eat like crap and become a total fatty. BUT after having Owen I ran on the treadmill...not insane amounts. I generally ran about 3 miles a day M-F and it helped a ton. I've heard you can get a cheap treadmill on Craigslist and nikerunning.com has some great training programs. Good luck...I'm going to be right there with you in about 3 mo. and I have a lot of weight to lose :)

  8. Jerm and I like P90X found on beachbody.com, but Jerm's new fixation is on their 10 minute trainers which look pretty cool. Check it out. And yes, most women can't even do 1 pull up. Before getting pregnant, I think I could do maybe 3, but that was lucky! Just change it up so you don't get bored!

  9. There is no easy way. ANd that's why I'm not toned.

  10. I am not pregnant and I can't even do one pull up. I think that woman just got out of prison or something. For exercise, hmmm, we are starting a weekly Enrichment activity of women's flag football.

  11. All I can say is, That poor baby in that girl's tummy must have been shaken up! That is very abnormal. When I was exercising I would jog or do the Firm Tapes (Love them, they kick your butt! (in a good way)). I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, you'll get there.

  12. I love how start off each video by shutting the blinds. I totally do the same thing, but it is just funny.

    I had a friend who had the Carmen Electra Strip Tease videos and I remember one line "This doesn't burn any calories, but it looks hot" as she put her pointer finger to her lip. I think I burnt more calories laughing than anything else.

  13. When I was out there Erik showed me that video.. It is very impressive, but I don't think I will ever get to that point, let alone when I am pregnant..



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