6.18.2008

THE DOLLAR STORE BOUNCER

When my mom used to cook in the kitchen of our little Camarillo rental, she would always say, "I feel like I'm camping." That isn't exactly the kind of compliment you want to hear about your home. (In her defense, when the renters after us cleaned behind the stove they found a sticker affixed to it that said "For Recreational Use Only.")

I've been here for five days and without all of my baby gear I feel like I am camping. I have to bathe Charlie in the kitchen sink since I don't have a baby bath. Without the crib and it's glorious crib tent, Luke is a pain to get to sleep. No bouncer or swing means that I am forced to actually hold my baby all day long. Eee gad. All of this parenting is seriously digging into my vacation plans.

My original plan was to cram as much baby gear into one of my suitcases. Unfortunately, United changed their baggage rules at the last minute and now charge $25 for a second bag. My only alternative was to buy a travel swing at the Wal-mart down the street from my parents house for $30. Although it was really cute, it didn't do the job so I took it back after three days and desperately tried to find other alternatives. This meant that I had to go to Babies R Us.

I am convinced that only three types of people seriously shop at Babies R Us -

1) Parents-to-be
2) People shopping off a baby registry
3) People who buy $500 gliders

Parents-to-be love Babies R Us because they offer Stork Parking which is a special handicapped parking for pregnant ladies. Even when I was big and pregnant I wanted to walk. It's after the kid is born that I want to park as close to the door as possible. Another way to lure in rich clientele is to offer every item of baby gear in the trendy color combination of brown and your favorite color. Kudos to whoever was able to make the traditional color of poop brown insanely popular again.

So back to my search for cheap baby gear. Since my life is now organized into two hour increments of time and I had left Charlie with my mother [I really need to pump and try giving him a bottle one of these days] - I felt it was necessary to utilize the Stork Parking. Of course no one asked if I was really pregnant because it's on the honor system and I obviously have no honor.

I couldn't decide between which overpriced swing or bouncer I wanted. That's another problem/good thing about Babies R Us. They have a lot of choices. Do I want the brown and green one with elephants that rocks five different ways? The brown and orange one with lions that converts into a toddler bed? Or the brown and blue one with polka dots that encourages your child to have good self esteem?

I eventually decided that I was too cheap to buy anything in that store, so I went back to Wal-mart and picked up the cheapest bouncer ever. I undoubtedly could have bought a similar version at the Dollar Store. The fabric will probably give him a rash and the harness system makes him look like he's wearing a bathing suit. Also, notice how it doesn't bend back like normal bouncers. I'm considering sitting in it for a few hours tonight while I watch a movie to get it to lay at a normal angle. Oh well, it'll have to suffice for the next few days until we get back home to our precious baby gear.

The good news for anyone considering visiting my parents house is that I am leaving this lovely dollar store bouncer here for all the future grandbabies to use. How generous of me! You can thank me later.

One more thing - why does my baby who never goes in the sun look more tan than I do?



9 comments:

  1. great post- I'm thinking I'm gonna have to start saving up for my own baby gear because Larry and I have nothing in the way of bouncers, play gyms, exersaucers, door bouncers, etc. Everything we used with Leyna we borrowed from my sister-in-law, but now I'm thinking our babies might be too close together-maybe- to be able to share the love again...bummer. Charlie is sure looking so much older already! what a cutie!

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  2. I am not going to lie- I love parking in those expectant mother spots! It takes a lot of power for me to tell myself, "No!" when I see one. I'm not very honorable either.

    P.S. Charlie is sooo cute!!!

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  3. I shop at babies r us and I am so offended. By the way, I was at Best Buy the other day and they had a family parking space for expectant mothers or "mothers with small children." I was pleasantly surprised.

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  4. Charlie is such a cutie....tan skin and all! He is losing that newborn look already. I wonder where that dark skin gene came from? I wished I had some of it in me.

    Hope you are having a great time at your parent's house. When do you go back to Tehachapi and how are you getting back?
    Love you..
    mom lassen

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  5. Wow looks like life is good for the Lassens. The kids are adorable, I hope you have as much fun raising them as we did ours. Keep in touch through allison's blog!
    Jay Linford (bishop byu140)

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  6. When I read your title I thought, "Wow, there's some body builder hanging around in front of the dollar store, refusing entrance to people who look too rich?"

    How misleading.

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  7. When you wrote "our little Camarillo rental" diD you mean, THE PARTY PALACE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

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  8. Are you sure Charlie doesn't belong to Kaci and Salesi? He is so cute though!!! You need to post more pics of him and Luke together!

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  9. Cristin I can't tell you how hard I laughed when I read this post, I think God has a sense of humor because it was seriously a matter of hours that I first read this post after the lady at Babies R Us asked me if I should be in the Stork Spot! You should totally start asking people if they're legit just to piss them off ;) thanks for the vote of fat confidence, I'll take pictures of my "fat face" for ya at the end :)

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