I have never understood why adoptive parents have to jump through so many hoops to "prove themselves" as worthy potential parents, while us who are able to have biological children could be psycho crazy people with serious problems. It just doesn't seem fair.

After my experience this morning, I officially qualify as a psycho crazy person with serious problems... or serious lack of parenting skills.

This morning while Erik was at a meeting, I went into the garage to get something out. I was only planning on being in the garage for 30 seconds. Luke chased me down the hall and the next thing I knew, he locked the door behind me. In other words, I was locked in the freezing garage, barefoot and in my pajamas with no cell phone. Luke was inside the house, ALONE.

At first I tried knocking, and Luke would just knock back, like it was a fun game. I tried coaxing him into unlocking the door, and he wouldn't do it. He left for a minute and came back banging some object on the door. That's when I started getting really scared. Fortunately, Erik had a bag of clothes in the garage (don't ask) and I put on a sweatshirt and his boating shoes. I went around through the backyard to the kitchen sliding glass door and starting knocking again. Eventually Luke came to the door, looked at me, waved, and then started pushing chairs around. Since the blinds were closed, it was hard to see what he was doing. All I could hear was a lot of banging, chairs moving, and then glasses clinking together. I kept saying, "Luke! Luke! Open the door for Mommy. Please. Come open the door!" He wouldn't acknowledge me.

I went around to another window in the kitchen and could see him sitting on the counter eating handfuls of a cake I had left out. He was putting the cake into a glass and then "drinking" it. He looked at me and said, "Mommy! F@*k! (cup) F@*k! (cup)" At this point I didn't know what was worse. Should I sit there and watch my child hurt himself, run to my neighbors for help only to come back to find that he's hurt himself, or break a window and try to cram my 9 month pregnant body through it? I chose to run to the neighbors.

I used my neighbor's phone to call Erik (who didn't answer because he didn't recognize the number). Fortunately, after about 5 more minutes, my neighbor broke open the lock with two knives and a hammer. I ran in the house and found Luke standing on a chair at the kitchen counter, still eating the cake, with a steak knife in his left hand. Erik got home 5 minutes later and said, "What's with the cake all over the house?" I wanted to start screaming.

Since 6+ hours have passed, I can finally laugh a little about the experience. However, right after it happened, all I could think about was what a lousy irresponsible mother I am. I have to keep reminding myself to count my blessings because this could have been much worse. I could have been in my bathrobe. Luke could have seriously injured himself. My neighbors could not have been home. This will not be happening again. I am already thinking of a gazillion ways this can be prevented in the future. Just please don't report me to Child Protective Services. It was an accident, I promise.


  1. Why would a nice kid like Luke want to do that?? That sounds so mean! I hope he really was thinking it was a fun joke, and not actually trying to harm you in any way. You know...because it's not good to bite the hands that feed, or whatever.

    (That's about as far as my parenting skills go...)

    Funny story, though.

  2. I am laughing soo hard right now, .. but I am soo sorry! I bet that was miserable! Luke is such a joker! It's only going to get worse! .. sorry. but true. (Caitlin)

  3. I had a similar experience when Kylee was that age....only we lived an hour away from Greg's work and I had to coax Kylee to unlock the door. After that we got a hid-a-key. Luckily I hadn't had Sarah yet!

  4. Wow! I think that is every mom's worst nightmare! I think you handled the situation very nicely. I don't think I would have thought to go over to a neighbor's and call. I probably would have broken a window or something. Glad to hear that you got to Luke just in time- with a steak knife in hand!!! What a CRAZY kid! :)

  5. Cristin,
    My sister put her daughter down for a nap one summer day and then took a nap of her own. While she was asleep her daughter got her finger stuck in her window, which was right above her crib. She screamed for my sister, who didn't wake up. Because the window was slightly open, the neighbors heard her and came over to knock on the door, but my sister didn't wake up. So they called the fire department, who knocked on the door, but my sister didn't wake up. When my sister finally woke up and went into her daughter's room to check on her, there was a fireman on a ladder at the window, trying to free the daughter's finger. Sometimes your kids just conspire to make you look negligent. Good luck with Luke 2 when he comes.

  6. Oh Cristin, what a nightmare! I could picture the whole thing happening with all your details. I'm so glad he didn't get hurt! What a sneaky boy that Luke is.

  7. Luke is so funny and crazy! And I don't think your negligent at all for going out in the garage for 30 seconds- sheesh, its not your fault he's a mastermind of these sorts of things- he probably had the whole thing planned so he could eat all that cake uninterrupted. I don't know about you but I've locked myself out of the house so many times I have MULTIPLE hide-a-keys hidden- maybe you should invest in that.

  8. That so sounds like something that would happen to me!! I've actually thought when I'm going into the garage... "what would happen if the door shut and the kids locked me in here?" Well, now I know that I would run to a neighbors house and use a phone - - or put a key in the garage! I'm glad everything turned out alright!!

  9. That is one of my fears! I usaully bring my cell phone with me when I take the trash out (and leave the kids inside) and if I go out the front door, I also unlock the back door JUST IN CASE! It's amazing how Luke did exactly what a mother would fear most...eat a TON of cake...but most of all manage to get a hold of a knife! He is a funny kid! I could imagine you dressed in funny clothes and shoes, doing all of this. I'm glad you're all okay! Luke is going to have many stories like this one when he is older!

  10. Cristin,
    Thanks for sharing. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. With four boys I had a few of those experiences. I too put hide a keys in my garage. Luke will be a lot of fun as a teenager!
    Have fun!



Related Posts with Thumbnails