3.14.2008

DON'T FORGET TO FLUSH

I wasn't going to post anything else today, but I can't stop thinking about this story that Brandon linked to on his blog. I tried to explain the article to Erik last night at about 12:30 a.m. and he kept saying, "I'm tired. You're not making any sense. That's not even possible. I'm going to sleep." I don't know why more news agencies haven't picked up on this (oh, that's right, it's an election year), but it really is strange the more I think about it. Go read the article, and then come back so we can discuss.

You're back - okay, how does a toilet seat get physically stuck to your skin? Why did it take 23 months for her boyfriend to call the cops and say, "I think something's wrong with my girlfriend." I love that the Sheriff in the article says "... I'm still having a hard time imagining it myself." That's weird, because you know that we are all sitting at our computers right now imagining someone walking around with a toilet seat stuck to their bare bottom. As much as you don't want that image in your head, there it is. I wonder if when she sat down she knew she would be there for 2 years. It is also strange that her boyfriend brought her food and water every day. Isn't it funny that even a girl with a toilet seat stuck to her rear end for two years can keep a boyfriend? There really is someone for everyone.

Erik's sisters have sworn for years that Erik used to play the saxophone on the toilet. Erik denies this vehemently. He has even taken a saxophone into the bathroom at his parents' house where the alleged event occurred, sat on the toilet seat and demonstrated how it would be physically impossible to play a saxophone while on the toilet because there is not enough room to hold it to the side. (I think his demonstration is flawed because he's not accounting for the difference in his adult size compared to his teenage size, and perhaps the saxophone was even smaller back then, who knows.) Erik says that when we all die and watch the movies of our lives, he will specifically fast forward to the part where everyone thinks he would be playing the saxophone on the toilet, just to show he wasn't. Wow, that should be some movie.

The whole point is that if a woman can survive sitting on the toilet for two years, then anything is possible, especially saxophone playing on the toilet. Sorry, Erik, I still don't believe you. It just sounds like something you would do.

5 comments:

  1. So what drugs was she (and her boyfriend for that matter) on to make her forget it's not okay to grow around a toilet seat?! That's just gross.

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  2. This might be strange, but I kind of want to see pictures. I mean...did her skin grow completely around the toilet seat, covering the hole? or what? I just can't picture it...

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  3. I have already called you and talked to you about my opinion about this, but like I said, There is someone out there for everyone.

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  4. I have heard of clothes growing onto Civil War soliders because they wore them for so long, but I definatly cannot imagine a person sitting there for two years with out their legs falling off! Keep in mind that this is Kansas, after all!

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  5. I think it's a great article for life coaches (like me?) to use as motivation because every day the boyfriend asked her to come out of the bathroom and every day she would say, "Maybe tomorrow." For two years she kept thinking, "I'll get off the toilet tomorrow." And she NEVER did it on her own; he had to call the cops to make it happen. She could totally use my new life coach business. And I'm already in Kansas!

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