3.09.2008

BORED, REALLY?

If I had a dollar for every time I heard some stay-at-home mother at a playgroup say, "I'm bored being at home with my kid(s), " I would have like $1,000. Maybe $1,500. (I also hear things like, "I didn't go to college for 6 years to be a stay-at-home mom." That's to be addressed in another post, another day.)

I don't get it. Bored is not an adjective I would choose. If I had to choose negative ways to describe my current life, I would pick:

Exasperated
Tired Beyond Human Comprehension
Lonely
Finding it Strange that I have "Adult Conversations" with a 20 Month Old

But, BORED? Really? The only almost legitimate reason I can think of for saying that is if you possibly had an angelic baby who did nothing but nursed and slept all day, but even then you could read a book or watch t.v. or something. That doesn't sound boring to me. Can being a stay-at-home mom be monotonous? Yes, of course! However, what job isn't monotonous? Even my husband, who loves his job, admits to a little monotony here and there. I don't think monotony has to equal boredom necessarily. Besides, the more you do the same thing, the more you improve (i.e., practice makes perfect). I like that aspect to my current situation. (For example, I am getting really good at changing diapers and catching Luke before he runs into the street.)

Maybe I am doing something wrong if so many other mothers are bored. Am I making things harder than they have to be? Bored mothers, please share your secrets with me, because what I feel is not even close to bored every day. In fact, sometimes I think things like, "Wouldn't it be neat if I broke both my legs and then I could sit around all day with a little bell, watching DVD's and have someone take care of me?"

You know you're tired when you start fantasizing about broken legs. But, BORED? Really?

14 comments:

  1. I don't believe these women are really BORED, I believe they are using the wored bored to describe feeling depressed and lonely. I don't have kids, but thats just my thought.

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  2. I agree with you Cristin and Kelley. I am never bored, but a lot of things are monotonous, changing diapers, doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom. But I still feel very grateful that I can be home with Lizette. When I worked for CW, a lot of my co-workers would say, "I could never stay home with my kids, it would be too boring." TRUST ME IT IS ANYTHING BUT BORING...

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  3. Cristin, you crack me up, I love your broken legs fantasy :)! And yes, I agree with you, 'bored' wouldn't be the correct word for how things are going around our house. I think 'craziness' would be a better fit for our home :)

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  4. Man, I keep thinking "How did I ever go to school full time and keep things organized around the house?" I feel like there's so much to do! Ya I agree it can be monotonous but if it didn't then something would be wrong because most people's lives are, right? I love being a mom! This is a hard job, because it's 24/7 and it just keeps getting harder but more fun at the same time! ..But not Boring! I saw a 20/20 one time where a stay at home mom said that every mom is secretly bored with their children and hates being home. That lady had problems. (Caitlin)

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  5. It annoys me in general when people say they're bored, because I think it's a choice. You can choose to do nothing or you can choose to do something, it's as simple as that. But bored as a mom? Seriously? Peter does way too many fascinating/hilarious/mind-boggling things during the day to keep me from being bored. Maybe some women just have dull children... that's a sad thought.

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  6. I can personally relate to going to school then wondering what is going to happen when I have children. I have been working my buns off for the last 8 years trying to finally finish school...with one goal, to be a stay at home mom. I realize that living in So. Cal won't really let me do this, but I can dream can't I? I am still looking forward to changing diapers right now, so I may not be the best one to ask for an opinion on this subject :)

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  7. I always figure it's my fault when I get bored. I have a million things I want to do, but sometimes (okay, a lot of times) I want to sit and do nothing. Then, I feel bored. When mothers say things like that, I think, "Start your own business, volunteer, or get a hobby if you feel bored. Then you'll realize that you're really stretched for time!"

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  8. If i'm "bored" for a day its basically because i'm choosing it. There are so many things a stay at home mom can do (besides chasing around and cleaning up after her kids). I think being a stay at home mom is a lot more interesting then going to work everyday....but maybe thats just me.

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  9. Things do change when you have more than one. I think it's a lot easier (at least it was for me) to do all the "fun" stay-at-home mom things with just one. I don't think I feel bored at all with my kids, but I did get out and do a ton more when I had just Hayden.

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  10. I think some of you are getting caught up on a definition problem. I think when stay at home moms say they are bored they are saying the same thing as you are. Things are monotonous and tiring. They are talking about the same thing you are, they are just using a different word. I mean lets face it, you can say I'm bored of building a block tower 20 million times a day and sweeping the floor for the hundredth time today, or you can say I'm tired of building a block tower for the 20 millionth time today. Or it's monotonous to sweep the same floor 80 times a day. But when it really comes down to it, don't they really basically mean the same thing. It's all about your vocabulary and your definition of things. I don't think those people are saying they have nothing to do or that there aren't 10 things they are avoiding doing, it's just they don't want to do it because they are "bored" of it and want to do something a little different for a change.

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  11. My big thing is that sometimes I feel like I'm not good at coming up with fun things for Leyna to do...she's still to young for so many things, but is just starting to get old enough to enjoy certain things- I stress about HER being bored with life, not me. I always feel bad if I've been ignoring her for long periods of time to clean or be on the internet or whatever, because then she wanders around the house or begs for attention and then I feel like a bad mom who doesn't know what kind of fun crafts and games I should be doing with her. I'm learning to stress less about it but if I don't have SOME sort of structure or routine or plan for the day, I feel like the whole day just goes by wasted, Leyna wandering aimlessly around the house and me wasting time blogging or making long comments on the internet. :) I'm always looking for good suggestions for activities to do with just her and I.

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  12. I agree with that other comment that bored and monotonous are sort of the same thing. But it's all about the attitude you have. I'm just grateful that I get to stay home with the kids no matter how monotonous my day is or how lonely I feel sometimes. And all jobs really are monotonous at some point! At least I get to be home to hear all the funny things they say and see them showing affection toward each other spontaneously. It's priceless!

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  13. I seriously can't remember the last time I was bored. I also question my efficiency when I hear about other stay at home moms who get bored. There's always something to do here, and we don't even have tv!

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  14. I agree with Zach et al about defining the word bored. I'm bored/tired/find monotonous doing the same unfulfilling menial tasks day in, day out. Maybe I'm a crappy Mummy, and just not cut out for the job, but I feel underappreciated. I don't feel intellectually challenged. I find the company of a four and one year old to be, yes, BORING. Sure, I'm busy. But what's keeping me busy is not stimulating. I'm kept busy doing tasks that require no skill or thought. I'm not rewarded financially for doing it, which leads to me into feeling undervalued and a burden. I feel stuck: if I go to work it will cost more in childcare than I would earn. If I want to take a holiday, I have to take the brood with me therefore negating the whole point. Travelling overseas - forget it! That feeling of "stuck" just compounds everything else, making it worse. Don't get me wrong - I love my babies very, very much. People even describe me as a "great Mum". But my life pre-children was very stimulating. I loved my job, would never have described it as boring. I did stuff, I travelled, I was independent,I was FREE. Now I’m just sort of…stuck. I guess we're just not all cut out to enjoy being stay-at-home parents!

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