1.17.2008

FAMILY PICTURES

Why you would spend millions of dollars on a presidential campaign and not have every aspect of it "orchestrated" is beyond me. I do not understand why people criticize the candidates for purposefully presenting a certain public image. Millions of dollars is a lot of money to blow, especially when your political aspirations are tarnished because of "little things" like a crazy scream (see Howard Dean) or having your son hang a dog at Scout Camp (see Mike Huckabee).

I also don't believe the people that say it is not important to have a "First Family" who will make a good impression. I, at least, don't want President Joe Schmo looking perfect, but with a white trash wife who never graduated high school. As silly as it may sound, when I vote for a president, I want to be able to visualize the impression, we, as a country, are going to make to the rest of the world. With that being said, here is a comparison of the presidential candidates' family pictures (or lack thereof).

DEMOCRATS

Does this picture look old to you? It was the most recent Clinton family photo I could find, and it was on Hilary's website. I think this must be from an old presidential holiday card. Since she has just recently decided to base her candidacy on change, I suggest she change her photo to one that isn't at least 10 years old. Besides, poor Chelsea. She's grown into a nice looking young woman, I would be totally embarrassed if my mom kept perpetuating an ugly picture of me as an awkward teenager

GRADE: D (At least she has a family photo.)

John Edwards' family photo is one of my favorites. They look happy, albeit a little windblown, but I would probably want to be friends with these people. Good work, John. You got something right.

GRADE: A (Nice work.)

I love the Obama family photo. I love that it's outside. Whoever posed this knew exactly what they were doing too. They obviously want Obama to be the center of attention. With the kids all over him, the photographer definitely succeeded in getting that message across. I love his daughter sitting in his lap. Nice touch.

GRADE: A+

REPUBLICANS

Remember how I mentioned earlier that Mike Huckabee's son hung a dog at scout camp? What do you think they're trying to convey in this photo? Could it be, "Huckabees Love Dogs"? The dog is in the center of the picture and wearing a freaking bow tie! As most of you know, although I would never go as far as to hang a dog, I am not a huge "dog lover." To me, people who dress their dogs up (especially in bow ties) are silly. Then you start getting into things like, "Well, if the dog has to wear a shirt, why doesn't he have to wear pants?" or "Yuck, the dog has a shirt on, but no pants. He is totally exposing himself to us! Ew!" Whereas if you didn't put a shirt on the dog in the first place, you wouldn't even have this issue.

GRADE: C (I don't like dogs that wear clothes, but at least the family has a photo.)


This family photo is on John McCain's website. I always feel that whenever McCain mentions his website, he has this face like, "I'm using this new fandangled thing called the internet! Not sure what it is, but my advisers tell me it is really good." I know he has kids, but I couldn't find any real family photos. Erik thinks his wife is a trophy wife. Wrong... I'll show you a trophy wife...

GRADE: C (Where are the kids, John? Oh, with your first wife? Okay.)

Normally, I would feel bad calling any woman a trophy wife, but when Fred Thompson was recently asked his favorite possession he answered, "Trophy Wife." So, there you go, straight from the horse's mouth. At least he's not afraid to blast pictures of himself with his wife that's old enough to be his daughter and their cute children. He does, however, have two adult children, from his first marriage, that you rarely see. I wonder who's choice that is.

GRADE: B (His wife is photogenic.)

Just in case you were wondering, Giuliani is still running for President. I honestly couldn't find a family photo for him, only this fun layout of his marriage history. I've heard his kids don't want anything to do with him. Great, Rudy. As if America isn't dysfunctional enough, all we need now is a president with estranged children. I wonder if his wife regrets wearing that tiara on her wedding day. It looks funny, like a little pyramid balancing on her head.

GRADE: F (For obvious reasons.)


This is the grandaddy of all family photos. When you search for any other candidate's family photo, this one inevitably pops up. Obviously, Mitt Romney wants us to know that he has a wholesome, good looking family. There are even groups of "Mittens" consisting of women who love Mitt because of what a family man and devoted husband he is. After looking at this photo, can you blame the Mittens? The Romneys look perfect. Some people see a perfect family image as bad, but I would be okay with this kind of image representing America. They almost look like a Ralph Lauren ad, don't ya think?

GRADE: A+

12 comments:

  1. Great post!!! I love it!

    Based on photos, I think it's going to be Obama and Mitt. If only.

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  2. Cristin I just have to say that youre blogs are getting through my very long day at work :) amen to the previous comment, and you know how they say dogs tend to look like their owners? take a second look at the Huckabees...also, i gotta say that John McCain's wife kinda scares me, anyone else think she looks like she could be a villian in a Disney movie?

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  3. Cristin you are sooo funny! This post is genius! The Romney family photo reminds me a lot of our family photos. "Lets all go out by the lake after Thanksgiving dinner while there's still sunlight and take a family photo" sound familiar....

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  4. This post had me cracking up! The Romney family definitely has the best family photo. And I had no idea that Fred Thompson has a trophy wife. It looks like a Grandpa with his daughter and two grandchildren! It's just wrong!

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  5. (Caitlin) I still think it would be funny to have the Romney's in the White House. Can you imagine how different it will be with all those kids compared to the usual one or two?

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  6. where's kucinich and his wife? when biden was asked what he likes most about another candidate, he said, "dennis, i like your wife."

    [joint comment from brandon and nancy]

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  7. Awesome entry. Says it all. Their family pictures actually match the opinions I have had of each of the candidates! How cool is that!?

    Masterfully done, Cristin. I'm a fan.

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  8. That post was hilarious! I loved it--and Amber, Amen to McCain's wife as a Disney villain.

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  9. I clicked over from Chloe's blog, and I'm glad I did. LOVE this post!

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  10. Oh man, I love this! What a great post.

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  11. very well done!!!! it's very clear that this race is Obama vs Romney. These are awesome!

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  12. I don't know kelley if you can compare the romneys to us... their family is a little bigger and better looking

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