HOME AT LAST

We finally returned from our "vacation" last night. I call it a "'vacation" because I would normally define a vacation as relaxing. It was good to see family, however, after being gone for 9 days, I had begun to forget what it's like to sleep in my own bed, have my own things, and not live out of my car. The living out of our car thing was probably the worst because it was Christmas and we kept accumulating things everywhere we went. Please realize that I have literally 300 photos from the past week and a half, so while this may seem like overkill, I am really sparing you by not posting them all on my blog. (You're welcome.)

It is really is a shame that our video camera is broken, because each time Luke opened a present he said, "Oooooh. WOW." It was great.

My sister, Kelley, gave him some fake cookies. Luke was really excited when he saw the box. (Here he is trying to get them out.) He chewed on each one for about 3 minutes until he realized they were plastic. I really hope they don't contain lead paint.

We got Luke this two tent and tunnel set on eToys.com for $25. Luke enjoys it, but I am disappointed because part of it has already broke. My friend who has the same one told me that the tents are very durable and that her kids have been walking around with them on their heads for two years and they are still very much intact. Of course, Mr. Luke has already caused extreme damage to them after just playing with them for a few hours.

Erik and the other pallbearers at Grandma Beecroft's funeral in Mesa.

My Dad and Luke.

Just another small family gathering with the Lassens at Christmas Eve. Here are 60 or so of us holding hands, singing carols and dancing around the Christmas tree.

Here I am at Christmas Eve, big, pregnant, and stuffing my face with chocolate. (Stuffing my face with chocolate is a theme that continued throughout the remainder of the vacation.)

Erik and my brother-in-law, Haans, on Christmas Day at the beach.

Erik and Luke walking on the beach on Christmas Day at sunset.

On Thursday night we went down to the El Capitan Theater to see Enchanted, and then do the "Enchanted Experience" afterwards. It was a lot of fun, and I actually enjoyed the movie even more the second time!

CROSSROADS

As most of you probably know, 16 year old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. There are so many jokes I want to make, but then a part of me is like, "Oh that's mean. She must be having a hard enough time with an unexpected teen pregnancy. I should feel sorry for her." But the other part of me is winning today so here goes -

My first thought when I heard the news was that you can take the girl out of Louisiana, but you can't take Louisiana out of the girl. My next thought was when is Lynne Spears' (mother of the famous pair) parenting book coming out? Obviously, anyone that can produce such well behaved, respected and intelligent children certainly deserves a book deal. Oh snap, according to People.com, her book has been delayed indefinitely. Hmmm, wonder why? You'd think Britney's yucky antics would be enough to stop the book, but nope it took a teen pregnancy to do her in. I guess there are still a few big no-no's these days, with teen pregnancy being numero uno. (Sorry, I guess seeing your child drive with your grandchild on her lap down the PCH or partying in minis with no underwear doesn't count towards any "bad mother" points).

Do I sound like a jerk? I probably do. I hate that Britney Spears is all over the news for doing nothing redeeming and now I am perpetuating her legacy by posting this blog. Confession time: I act like I don't care and I am too cool for all of this, but in truth, certain friends and sisters and I shamelessly call and text each other with breaking news like this. I'm the girl that reads People Magazine while in line at the grocery store, getting my hair done, or in the doctor's waiting room. It's so embarrassing that sometimes I want to hide the People in a copy of Time or Highlights Magazine. Now you know.

21 QUESTIONS ANSWERED ABOUT MORMONS

Thanks again to Fox News for bringing us up to date. Today on their homepage, among headlines like, "Woman Dies During Root Canal" and "Holloway Case Closed" is "21 Questions Answered About Mormon Faith." I don't know whether to be pleased or irritated with such strange publicity for my religion. Supposedly this is part of a series devoted to the candidates. I can't wait to read "21 Questions About the Catholic Faith" or "21 Questions About the Baptist Faith." Yeah, as if Fox News would actually post something like that when they spotlight the other candidates. Next thing you know, we're going to be seeing missionaries on "Meet the Press."

GRANDMA BEECROFT

I wanted to mention on here that Erik's Grandma Beecroft passed away last night. (Yes, you read that right. Erik lost his Grandmother AND Great Grandfather within days of each other.) Although she wasn't my biological grandmother, in the six years that I have been married to Erik she has become like my own. I feel like I have lost a grandparent. She was such a wonderful woman.

The picture above was taken when she watched Luke for us last year when my sister, Caitlin, got married. She was always willing to serve others. She called her home "Hotel Beecroft" (with a smile) and always opened it up for others to stay or use her pool. In my mind she is still so vibrant and outgoing that I can't believe she passed away. She always went on fun trips that made me extremely jealous and tried to go to everything she could to support her grandchildren. Erik and I sat up last night discussing some of the great qualities she exhibited as a grandparent that we would like to emulate someday when we have grandkids.

Erik said that with the accident and the events of the past week, 2007 has really been a "lesson in death" for him. I, on the other hand, have not had that much experience with death and I worry that if someone like my mother or father or sister were to die suddenly that I would have a really hard time dealing with it. We did smile last night though as we thought of the happy reunion Grandma Beecroft must be having with all the family that passed before her. When she learned of her terminal condition a week or so ago, she said something like, "Well, help me plan my next trip!" That was the kind of good attitude she had about everything. What a great example to us all.

We're still heading out to Phoenix on Thursday for both funerals.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

We returned home from Camarillo last night around 1 a.m. Shoot me now. I am so tired. It was a fun and busy weekend with a Missionary Open House for my brother-in-law Steffen on Saturday and the big Lassen Family Rice Pudding/Talent Show night on Sunday. A few select pictures...

We took Luke to the eye doctor and turns out he needs glasses. But not just any glasses, REALLY BIG glasses, like these. (Special thanks to Tyson for sharing his "Birth Control Glasses" with Luke.)

We had a dance party for the kids while we were waiting around for Steffen to get set apart. Luke preferred crawling in between all the dancing kids.

Here's Steffen in his final moments before he was set apart as a missionary. The last thing the Stake President asked before he set him apart was, "Is there anyone you need to kiss?" I thought that was really funny. We are really sad to see him go, but excited for all the great experiences he will have in the Washington D.C. South Mission.

We decided today to make a last minute trip out to Phoenix before Christmas to attend the funeral of Erik's Great-Grandfather Beecroft ("Beeky") who passed away this weekend, and then we will head straight from Phoenix back to Camarillo for Christmas. This means we will be away from home for over a week, something we were not planning on doing. However, I am grateful for nice family in Phoenix and Camarillo that will let us stay with them, washer and dryers, and that Luke does exceptionally well (knock on wood) in the car. So, I am going crazy trying to get everything done that I need to before Christmas because we are leaving 4 days earlier for the holidays than we were planning. I am tired just thinking about it!

CALL ME CRAZY

I've decided to have my baby at home with a licensed midwife. Think what you will, but I am really excited about it. I haven't told a lot of people, because most of the people I have told react like I am getting an abortion. However, who cares, this is what I'm doing and I feel so much better about it than going down to Bakersfield to have my baby at the hospital.

It all started with the whole waterbirth drama. I talked to my doctor a month ago, and while he is a really nice man, we just don't click as far as "birth plans" go. He told me that I couldn't labor in the water because the water temperature is too variable (okay, tell that to the 100's of hospitals in the country that offer tubs to laboring women) and that he doesn't like it when women do it naturally because they make too much noise. I think the noise comment was the one that put me over the edge. He told me about two patients who just did it naturally and he was so proud of them because they didn't make a peep. He also told me that the daytime hospital staff will not work with my birth plan, but the nighttime nurses will. (Whatever that means?) He told me that if I wanted the kind of labor I desired then I should get a hotel room nearby and come to the hospital at the very last minute. When I left his office, I was so conflicted. I wanted the focus of my birth to be about the baby, not about fighting with hospital staff and laboring in a dirty hotel room bathtub.

So, I started doing a lot of research, reading, and talking to people, and my concerns about a home birth slowly vanished. As long as I am low risk (which, so far I am), then it's a go for doing it at home! All the studies I found indicated no difference in mortality rates in low risk mothers delivering in hospitals or at home. The midwife's prenatal visits are even more comprehensive than the doctor's. Seriously, why would she want to take on a risky mother? It would not only damage her practice, but her credibility. She's a paramedic too, brings oxygen, can stitch me up, and even administer IV's!

The number one question I get asked is: What if something goes wrong?? Hopefully by doing comprehensive prenatal visits, we can determine if there is that possibility (such as a breach baby) and avoid it. She said she has a 5% hospital transfer rate and in over 150 births, has lost no one. Besides, how many times do things go wrong in the hospital because of screwed up epidurals or unnecessary c-sections?

The best part is that I can labor and give birth in the water. I can hold my baby after he is born. (Luke was whisked away and I was left looking at a picture on a digital camera.) I don't have to get a hotel room in Bakersfield. I won't have to worry about having my baby in the car (Luke was a quick labor). I don't have to be fighting with hospital staff while I am in labor. I don't have to create a birth plan that no one will look at. I don't have to be conscientious about making noise while in labor (because I will)!

So, I guess I'm letting my "freak flag" fly now with this whole home birth experience, but Erik and I both feel so much better about this than the hospital thing. Although it may defy normal logic to most people, we couldn't be more excited!

BROWN WATER

I love hot chocolate. It is my "coffee." Probably not the healthiest drink, except I do rationalize my insane consumption of it by counting it off as much needed calcium. When I drink lots of it, Jurgen Danger gets super excited and kicks all over the place. He must love it too.

My one gripe is when people try to pass "brown water" off as hot chocolate. The only way to make powdered hot chocolate mixes, such as Carnation, Swiss Miss, and Stephen's Gourmet (sorry, Utah, I know how proud you are of your Stephen's) not taste like "brown water" is to put in double the amount of powder you should put in according to the box. Even then, they still taste like brown water with a hint of chocolate to me. The only powdered mixes (mixed with water) that I have ever tasted that kind of resemble real Hot Chocolate are the Ghirardelli's and Land 'O Lakes with creamer added.

Then again, if you have never had real good hot chocolate, then you don't know what you are missing and you can go on drinking "brown water" because you don't know any better. (Wow, I'm starting to send like a real hot chocolate snob. So be it.) To make good hot chocolate takes time and energy, so it is best to make a lot, refrigerate it, and just heat it up later when you want more. It is also a good idea to buy milk in bulk because you will go through A LOT.

Here are my two favorite recipes:

Hershey's Hot Chocolate

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
• Dash salt
• 1/3 cup hot water
• 4 cups (1 qt.) milk
• 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
• Miniature marshmallows or sweetened whipped cream(optional)

Directions:
1. Stir together sugar, cocoa and salt in medium saucepan; stir in water. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a boil. Boil and stir 2 minutes. Add milk; stirring constantly, heat to serving temperature. Do Not Boil.

2. Remove from heat; add vanilla. Beat with rotary beater or whisk until foamy. Serve topped with marshmallows or whipped cream, if desired. Five 8-oz. servings.


Kimberlee's Hot Chocolate (aka Candy Bar Hot Chocolate)

Ingredients:

• 1 cup water
  
• 2 2/3 cup sugar
• 1/4 tsp. salt
  
• 6 oz. bittersweet chocolate
  
• 1 tsp. almond extract
  
• 2 tsp. vanilla
• 2 cups heavy whipping cream
• 3 quarts milk
  

Directions:
1. Boil water and sugar together for 5 minutes. Turn off heat and add bittersweet chocolate.
2. Once chocolate has melted, whip mixture until it is smooth and chill.
3. Whip together heavy whipping cream, almond extract and vanilla.
4. Fold the whipping cream and chocolate mixture together.
5. Fill a cup 1/3 full of chocolate/cream mixture and add scalding milk to make hot chocolate.
Serves 8 people.

MOVIE REVIEW: WAITRESS

My friend Ben used to say that Cider House Rules was the "best pro-abortion movie he's ever seen." I thought of that comment a lot as we watched "Waitress" this weekend. Is it the "best extra-marital affair movie" I've ever seen? (Sadly, no. That honor belongs to "Spanglish.")

Erik and I try to trade off who picks movies at the Redbox. He picked "Transformers." The next time I picked "Hairspray." He really wanted to rent "Next" and I talked him into renting this instead, so I now owe him two. This movie reminded me of why you should read up on something before you see it. Just because it gets "great reviews" doesn't mean it's a good movie. I love Keri Russell from her "Felicity" days, so this was very disappointing.

The short summary goes like this: Keri Russell plays a waitress in a miserable marriage. One night her husband gets her drunk and she ends up pregnant. She doesn't tell him for months. She begins an affair with her married ObGyn which makes no sense. I mean, really, I spent half the movie trying to figure out how they went from patient/doctor to suddenly making out in the exam room.

The movie had a few redeeming qualities: She creates entertaining pies in her head that relate to her life. The acting was good. Andy Griffith is hilarious. It had a catchy theme song that Erik won't stop singing. Other than that, Erik and I almost turned it off half way through because who wants to watch an affair movie, especially with your spouse sitting next to you?? The whole time we're both like, "You better not ever do that. You promise? This is disgusting!"

Long story short, skip it and watch something that makes you feel good like Hairspray or the Sound of Music.

GRADE: C+

WHO'S THE BOSS?

Tonight, as we began to eat dinner, Erik said, "We're letting Luke control us! We let him get away with so much" I said, "No, we're not." Then dinner progressed as follows:

1. Luke wouldn't sit in his booster seat or highchair so we let him sit in a normal chair.
2. Then he didn't want to eat out of his plastic bowl, so I transferred his food into a glass one.
3. He was making a mess eating, I offer to feed him, he says no, so I continue to let him get taco soup all over the kitchen floor.
4. Taco soup ends up on his clothes. He wants his clothes off, so I remove them.
5. He takes off his diaper and throws it across the room. I say nothing.
6. The end result is the above picture: A naked toddler, kneeling on an adult chair at the dinner table, unsuccessfully eating from two bowls, and making a huge mess.

In retrospect, maybe we do let Luke control us a little, okay, a lot. BUT, how do you not let a toddler take over your life without outright ignoring him?

SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE

I know what you're thinking: "Did you take that picture in 1975?" Good guess, but no. It's from the Children's Christmas party put on this afternoon by Erik's company. I had forgotten how bad Polaroids are.

Luke loved Santa! We were absolutely shocked. In fact, when Santa was trying to leave he ran up to the stage and tried to go sit on his lap again. I was visualizing lots of screaming, and it was the total opposite. Maybe we need to have a talk with him about strangers because he wasn't scared enough.

The party also had a gazillion cookies, brownies, cake, and candy. Luke was happy and entered a sugar coma-like state on our way home.

They were also giving free immunizations at the party. Just kidding. Luke looks like he is in so much pain in this picture you would think he's getting a flu shot, but it was only a temporary tattoo. As you can see, Luke is not a tattoo man.

At the end of the party, they wanted all the kids on the stage for a picture with Santa. Luke hopped up there and sat about 2 feet away from the group and smiled for the camera. At least he tried.

HUCKCHUCK FACTS

No matter what you think about Mike Huckabee, you must admit that these ads are GENIUS.

THE BABYSITTERS CLUB

Three of my friends and I are trying to start a Babysitting Co-op. I've only heard of it online, so we're trying to take whatever ideas we can find and morph it into our very own "Babysitters Club." Here are some preliminary ideas:

1. Each family starts out with a yet to be determined amount of points (either represented by poker chips or coupons). One point equals one half hour per kid. This will be our "currency," i.e., how people spend and earn babysitting time from other families in the group.

2. When you need a babysitter, you send out an email to the group. Everyone responds yes or no. The family with the least amount of points gets first dibs on a "job."

3. We don't want to have any more than 10 or 11 families involved. Any new families need to be unanimously approved so that we all feel comfortable with anyone in the group watching our kids.

4. If your children are going to be watched during a nap time or meal, you pack food for them, as well as a portable crib if necessary. The kids are always watched at the sitter's home, unless otherwise arranged.

Erik asked me why we just don't exchange Friday nights between each other so that each couple is able to go on a date once a month, but I think this is better. Especially because everyone wants to use it for different things. One woman said that she would love to go running without navigating a double stroller around trashcans, etc. I would like to go to doctor's appointments and get my hair done during the day without feeling guilty about loading Luke off on someone else.

Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? Did it work? Did people remain friends while they did it or did everyone get mad at each other eventually? I see a lot of potential for problems if the wrong type of people are involved, but I am so desperate to be able to afford to go on a nice date with my husband or get blood drawn without having a squirming toddler on my lap, that I am more than willing to do this.

FAMOUS MORMONS

Have any of you ever visited Famous Mormons.net? I think the purpose is to clear up any misconceptions about who is and isn't a Mormon (no way, Mitt Romney and Marie Osmond are Mormons?!?! Get outta town!) According to their Frequently Asked Questions, numerous "Famous Mormons" have asked that their names be removed from the website for one reason or another. Like, did you know that Richard Dutcher, director and writer of God's Army, is no longer a practicing member of the church? (I always hated that movie anyway.)

Some people that I am surprised haven't yet requested that their names be removed from the Famous Mormons website are:

Amy Adams




Ryan Gosling




Katherine Heigl

The funniest entry is about actress, A.J. Cook. Since I read People Magazine and have never heard of her, she must not be that famous so I'm not sure what she's doing on the site. Her entry reads:

Born in Oshawa, Ontario, Andrea Joy Cook grew up in Toronto. A devout Mormon, Cook only accepts roles that don’t go against her faith.

Filmography:

Final Destination 2 (2003)
The House Next Door (2002)
Out Cold (2001)
Ripper: Letter From Hell (2001)
Teen Sorcery (1999)
The Virgin Suicides (1999)

Roles that don't go against her faith? Virgin Suicides? Ripper: Letter from Hell? Final Destination 2? These are all totally movies I plan on showing at Young Womens activities.

I FEEL ROBBED

I feel robbed for TWO reasons:

#1: I should have posted this last week, but what happened is exactly what I said would: Scary Spice lost Dancing with the Stars. I was mad for 15 minutes and then forget about it. However, this morning I was listening to my Spice Girls CD and since I can identify each girl by voice (I can do the same thing with the Backstreet Boys, can't everyone?), I kept hearing Scary Spice sing and getting really angry. She was totally robbed! While I am glad that Marie didn't win (partly because Jamie said she would kill herself if Marie did), I think the only reason Julianne and Helio won was because people love Julianne. Did anyone else catch the few times the other Spice Girls came out to support Mel B.? I couldn't find it on You Tube. Every time they were on, Victoria Beckham looked horribly out of place. I wonder if someone lied and told her Katie Holmes or Madonna would be there to get her to go. This picture says it all. Look at Posh's face and body language:




#2: I woke up this morning and sadly realized there will be no Office Christmas episode this year due to the writer's strike. Admittedly, Season Four hasn't been all that great, but I was really looking forward to an Office Christmas party. I attended a "Mom's Only" Christmas Party on Friday night where we did an ornament exchange. After the host was explaining the rules of the "White Elephant" exchange, I said, "It's Yankee Swap!" Only one woman laughed really hard and the rest looked at me like I was nuts. I've only ever heard of "Yankee Swap" on the Office, so I knew she knew what I meant. Or at least I'd like to think she did.

MATERNITY CLOTHES

(NOTE TO READERS: From now on, I will lovingly be referring to Baby #2 as "Jurgen Danger" until we come up with a better nickname. My Beehives helped me come up with that one when I told them about the Lassen family's unused Danish names, such as Pia and Jurgen. Danger has just always been a favorite middle name of mine.)

Yesterday morning I woke up and BOOM, nothing fit me. Jurgen Danger picked the wrong night to triple in size, because it left few options to wear to church. Luckily our church doesn't start until 1 p.m., so I was able to spend two hours trying to piece something together to wear. At first I tried using existing skirts and fastening their closures together with a rubber band. I thought that would work until I bent over and it came undone. Plus, what if my shirt came up and everyone saw how I had jimmy rigged my skirt together? Too risky. Then I went through my meager selection of maternity dresses:

The last time I wore this dress, everyone said I looked like a big Easter egg. Granted, it was Easter and I was really round, but still! Everyone knows that you're never supposed to tell a pregnant woman how big she really is until after the baby is born and then you can joke about it later. It reminded me of the time some random girl came up from behind me at church and seriously asked me if I had a cat because I had so much hair on the back of my coat. I didn't have a cat, just a lot of garbage stuck to the back of my coat. Thanks for letting me know, but what am I going to do about it at church except be super embarrassed?

I'm pretty sure I will wear this dress one day, but not in 30 degree weather.

I will also probably wear this dress when I am huge and desperate. This is a Layers dress. Have you noticed how Layers makes clothes that require you to buy Layers shirts to wear underneath? Very clever.

So you get the idea. It was bad. I kept thinking, "I just had a baby! What did I wear then?" I think I must have borrowed a lot of maternity clothes I don't have on me now. If I had to go back to work though, I would be set. I have 6 pairs of maternity slacks. I kept thinking, "Man, if I could only wear slacks to church!"

Pregnant women can get away with a lot, such as wearing flip flops to church, dressing like slobs 24-7, wearing ugly jumpers and their husband's clothes. I don't want to be that woman, but I also want to save money. It is a really fine line. I think by the time I get to the last month of pregnancy I will just drape myself in a big sheet and not leave the house.

I spent another two hours today shopping online buying a sweater, pants, dress, skirt, and maternity coat. Does anyone know of any other place to buy cheap maternity clothes online besides Old Navy, JC Penney, and Target?