BABY SHOE NIGHTMARE

The irony is, when Luke was born I was given all these cutesy baby shoes that he never wore because they were for decoration. Now he is walking and desperately needs shoes, but I am really struggling to find him a good pair. Problem #1: Extremely narrow Feet. Problem #2: Extremely Cheap Mother (me). (I don't want to spend $50 because he could lose them. I don't even spend $50 on my own shoes!)

When he started cruising a couple of months ago, we bought him a pair of $30 sandals that the Stride Rite lady recommended to us. What a joke. They were too wide for his feet, so he had to wear them with socks so that they wouldn't fall off. Then we endured the inevitable, "Why is your kid wearing sandals with socks?" I felt like such a hypocrite because I always made fun of sandals with socks and now I was prancing my kid around town in them. Anyway, even the socks couldn't keep those sandals on his feet and I am very disheartened with the whole Stride Rite experience now.

Last week I went to Target and bought him Ministar Baby Leather Shoes ($12.99) which are actually really good and stay on his feet. The only problem is that there isn't enough protection on the soles, so I don't think they're going to last him much longer. I also think they are too small because every time I take them off there is an elastic mark around his ankles. Ow.

Today at the Farmers Market, I was very tempted by a woman selling Pediped's for $27. They look like glorified Ministars, with better soles. I looked online and $27 seems typical.

I welcome any suggestions. I hate wasting money on baby shoes!

WHEN YOUR SPOUSE IS HOTTER THAN YOU

Erik and I read this hilarious article the other day. When we finished it, we looked at each other and said, "Who's the ugly one?" Then we graciously played this game of, "Oh, I'm the ugly one, you're hotter." It went back and forth, back and forth, until finally I was like "FORGET IT! I am posting this on my blog and maybe someone out there can tell us who is hotter... " JUST KIDDING, please, I beg, no comments of, "Yeah, you're hotter." or "You're way too ugly for your husband."


The point is, we all know these "scummy-yummy" couples, but we rarely acknowledge the fact because that is just plain mean. I personally knew an "interfacial" couple and the only thing I ever heard anyone someone say that was remotely close to being rude was my father's comment: "There will be many blessings in heaven for that man." We nodded in agreement and that was that.

Joanne Woodard wisely said of her 49 year plus marriage to Paul Newman, "Sexiness wears thin after a while, and beauty fades... But to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat."


Then there are those couples where one begins "esthetically" challenged, but improves over time (see Johnny and his wife Mahana "You Ugly" Lingo, Eliza Doolittle and Henry Higgins or the kids in "She's All That.") However, you will notice that all the couples listed in this category are fictional, because in reality all looks go downhill after marriage. (Of course, my marriage is the exception to this rule. I love you, honey!)

I will finish this post with these pearls of wisdom:

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
You'll be happy for the rest of your life
An ugly woman cooks your meals on time
An she'll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Don't let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly and her eyes don't match
Take it from me she's a better catch

PARANOIA PART 2

Hallelujah, no crib breaks yet this week! Now if I can only teach him how to sleep without the blanket over his face. I keep thinking he is going to suffocate, so I gently move the blanket off his face. Yet, when I check on him 10 minutes later, he has pulled it over his face again. The moral of the story is that I freak out over silly things and I need to let it go.

PRETEND BEACH

One of our favorite games since moving to Tehachapi is "Pretend Beach." We dress Luke up as if we were going to the beach, let him play in the sand, and then turn the sprinkler up really high while he sits underneath it. He doesn't know the difference. Plus, we save ourselves a 2 hour drive and a tank of gas. Good times.

THE ILLUSIONIST VS. THE PRESTIGE

People tend to associate magic with dorkiness (David Copperfield is about as cheesy as David Hasselhoff or watch Michael Scott and his fascination with "magic camp"). I was reminiscing last night about this cheap magic set I had as a kid. The magic wand had fake flowers that came out of the end of it when you tapped it just right. That is very cool when you are 8.

This past weekend we watched 2 magic movies: The Illusionist and The Prestige. MAJOR SPOILER ALERT - so do not keep reading if you want to see these movies someday. Erik and I decided that we liked The Illusionist the best. I thought the Prestige was kind of ridiculous. Maybe I didn't understand it, because lots of people love this movie. I seriously hated Christian Bale by the time it was over. What a cop out that he had a twin and Hugh Jackman got a machine from David Bowie that made clones. I still don't get how the clone ended up in the tank or outside of the theatre. So did the clone drown or was it the real Hugh Jackman? At least in The Illusionist, the trick was legitimately explained... no "magical machines." The Prestige had one thing going for it though, the actors were much better to look at than in The Illusionist, with the exception of Jessica Biel.

MISS USA

I'm not a pageant fan by any means (especially when the Trump is involved), but this is just sad. I feel so bad for Miss USA. Listen to the boos from the audience in Mexico as she tries to answer her question at the Miss Universe Pageant. She deserves some sort of award for confidence under pressure.



And this doesn't make things any better...

202 DAYS

That is exactly how many days until Luke can go to Nursery at church.

For those of you who didn't know, I am a Mormon. Someone said to me the other day, "Mormons go to church for like 7 hours a week, right?" I was like, "No... you're crazy." But then I thought about it, and with a 3 hour block of meetings on Sunday, meetings for our callings (volunteer jobs at church), mid-week youth activities, and other various activities, it really is like 7 hours of church!

It is hard to explain to someone not of my religion why I would take an active 11 month old to a 3 hour block of meetings each Sunday. I'm starting to wonder myself.... don't worry, I'm not having a faith crisis, it's just getting to be so not fun on Sundays for both Erik and I.

Please bear with me while I vent:

Sundays are turning into quite the battle. Luke, naturally, refuses to sit on our lap quietly during the first hour of church (Sacrament Meeting). We are trying this thing where we don't reward him during Sacrament Meeting by either (a) putting him down in the chapel or (b) taking him out of the chapel and letting him run around in the hallway. I don't know if he sees the correlation yet, but we keep trying. Yesterday he started screaming and throwing stuff (crackers, sippy cup, and books) in the chapel, so we took turns with him in the hallway, while he literally wrestled with and hit us to get out of our arms. The remaining 2 hours are spent following him around the church (Erik and I switch off with hall duty). When we do try taking him to Sunday School (the 2nd hour) he pushes the empty chairs all over the room and majorly disrupts the class. I know we need to be at church, even if we're in the hallway, but sometimes it is so frustrating when it feels like we are getting all dressed up just to roam the halls of the church for 40 minutes.

What did I do during church before I had a baby? I think I used to listen to the talks and attend the classes. Now, whenever I see people in the halls without an excuse, I want to say, "Hey, you're out here for no reason. Want to watch my kid so I can go to class?"

Sunday ends. We go through out the week, Sunday rolls around again and we have conveniently forgotten the events of the previous Sunday. Optimistically, we go to church expecting Luke to be our little "Angel Baby", our expectations are crushed, and the cycle starts all over again...

TALKING

Luke likes to talk. Too bad we can't understand most of what he says. He can say daddy, mommy, baby, more ("mo"), and doggy, in addition to making high pitched noises (barking maybe?) when he sees a dog. However, I didn't have the patience to try to get all of that out of him. (He didn't exactly want to perform on command.) So, for now, here is just one of our conversations during mealtime this week.

RED BOX

Tehachapi just got a Redbox DVD Rental Kiosk and I am loving this thing. We usually don't watch a lot of movies, but now that all my tv shows are over, I will be using the Redbox to my full advantage! For those of you who don't know what a Redbox is, this is how it works: Go to the box, pick out a movie, pay a $1 a day until you return it. Brilliant! Last night we rented The Illusionist. It was pretty good... probably because we didn't know anything about it. So, if anyone has any DVD recommendations, I will gladly take them now.

WORKING

I realized today that I stopped working full-time a little over a year ago. Wow, and what a relaxing and uneventful year it has been... vacation after vacation and sleeping in every morning! (I'm being sarcastic, if you can't tell.) As we all know, being a mother is hard work. I have no clue how people have babies and go back to work so quickly. How would you function in the "real world" on such little sleep? My ability to have a normal conversation with anyone has definitely declined since Luke was born.

50 Jobs Worse Than Yours by Justin Racz is a really funny little book. I worked once with a courier who was always complaining about how awful his job was, (whew, sure is hard driving around town, then getting paid to sit in the break room eating candy and drinking soda on your down time). I threatened to buy him this book on numerous occasions. Some of the bad jobs listed in the book are:

- Sadaam Hussein Double
- The "Before" Guy in the "Before and After" Advertisements
- Rat Collector
- Sherpas (this was #1 because they have a 20% chance of dying on each trip)

Whenever I feel lonely or I'm tired of pulling Luke out of the toilet/trash/ant traps/house plants, I think of my worst jobs ever and I feel so much better about being a stay-at-home mom. Here is my motivation:

- Fishing old hamburgers out of the boys underwear section in Wal-Mart
- Cleaning the MTC bathrooms (oh wait, that was service as a missionary... oh well, it still counts)

LOST SEASON FINALE

Just in case you didn't know, Jordin won American Idol. (I haven't been able to watch the AI finale yet, probably won't till tomorrow.) Now, on to more important news: the season finale of Lost was really REALLY good! Who saw that whole "flash forward" thing coming? Not me. Candace called me during the commercial break crying when Charlie died. I'm sad, but I know this isn't real life, so it'll be okay. His death reminded me of the movie, White Squall, (except for the whole, "Not Penny's Boat" thing).

Questions/Thoughts:

1. Why don't they just kill Ben?
2. I think Charlie could have survived, don't you? I think he wanted to be a martyr.
3. Does anyone else think its funny that Penny is ready at a moment's notice to talk into her little webcam thing? Very Austin Powers-ish.
4. How soon till they get rescued? Next season premiere?
5. I still don't understand how Richard (the Other who wears too much eyeliner) doesn't age.
6. I hate Locke.
7. How did Mikhail get a grenade and scuba gear on so quickly? That was just weird.
8. Who was Kate talking about when she said, "He'll know I'm gone"? Sawyer?
9. Why do some people (Locke and Mikhail) never die?
10. Is Jacob real?
11. How am I going to wait till February for new episodes?

A BOY AND HIS TOYS

Every night when Erik gets home from work he finds me usually cooking dinner in the kitchen, while Luke is terrorizing the place, i.e., tupperware, measuring cups - whatever isn't breakable - is all over the floor. He always says, "He has toys, you know." I just nod. The problem is, he doesn't want to play with his toys. He wants to play with toilet water and the garbage can. Out of all of Luke's toys, the garbage can seems to be his favorite right now. Yesterday I got disgusted with him licking it, so I moved it to the back porch. (He likes to suck on the metal ring on the back of it. Nasty.) The separation was killing him.

MOONWALKER

First things first, Michael Jackson called and he wants his jacket back. Maybe Paula dressed Randy tonight? She was obviously hyped up on pain medication from tripping over her dog, so that would explain his strange ensemble. Simon really proved why he earns the big bucks. He was the only judge to say anything meaningful tonight. Too bad.

Other than that, I thought the final two were a little disappointing. I still like Blake best, but Jordin seems to need this more. Besides, the American Idol single suits her better. Poor Blake looked like he was in severe pain trying to pull that last song off. I joked tonight with Erik... only one more day of season finales left and then we'll have to start talking to each other again.

PARANOIA

UPDATE ON THE CRIB ESCAPING SITUATION: I have implemented lots of changes. One of which is not putting him in bed with us. (Sorry Mom and Dad.) Ironically enough, I attended a La Leche League meeting yesterday morning where everyone raved about co-sleeping. Before I had Luke I thought I would love having him in bed with us, but the reality of it was not as "rosy." When I try to sleep with him, he jumps on our faces, pulls our hair, wants to nurse every 45 minutes - no one sleeps and it is not fun. Kudos to co-sleepers - I have lots of respect for you, I just have never been able to have a good night's rest when Luke is in bed with us.

New Changes:
1. I lowered the crib mattress about 2 more inches (the lowest setting).
2. Removed the bumper and any extra blankets. He will now sleep with one blanket only. (I figured out that he bunched up the blankets with the bumper to create some sort of step to climb out.)
3. Placed pillows below the crib on the floor (just in case ).
4. Put up a gate in the hallway blocking off the rest of the house. So if he does escape, he can only go into our bedroom. (It just dawned on me that he can probably climb over that gate too! AGH!)

It's a scary realization that I may not be able to contain Luke in this "little box" for much longer. I just feel like he's too young for a toddler bed. (He's not even a year yet.) How do people keep their toddlers from roaming the house at night? When I asked my mom this she said, "It's difficult. You used to wake up in the middle of the night and we always found you watching Johnny Carson in the living room."

WHAT THE ... ?

I am still in shock. I was vacuuming the living room while Luke was taking a nap this afternoon, when suddenly I see him walking around the corner, waving his arms and laughing. HE CLIMBED OUT OF HIS CRIB ALL BY HIMSELF!! Oh my goodness. He seems okay, no bruises... maybe he's bleeding internally? I don't how much more I can lower that thing. Any suggestions?

SUPERMARKET SWEEP

Next time you're at a checkout counter and you hear the beep — think of the fun you could have on Supermarket Sweep!

Just about every time I go to the grocery store I think, "Go fast like SUPERMARKET SWEEP!" The best part was the end when the contestants would run around this fake supermarket throwing stuff into their carts. The winner was the team who's products totalled up to the highest amount. When I was a kid, I dreamt about being on this show and how I would swipe my hand through the canned goods down the aisle to push stuff into my cart really fast. Even on my mission, since preparation day time was so precious I would always tell my companion, "Think Supermarket Sweep. Go, go, go!" in order to finish our shopping more quickly.

Now that I have to (I mean get to) shop with Luke, I go fast because if I slow down he will literally stand up and jump out of the shopping cart - like he did today. Don't worry, when he turned around and dove into the basket part of the cart, the seat belt caught him and kept him hanging about an inch from hitting his head (this is not the first time this has happened). So, whenever Luke and I go to the grocery store, I make a list according to the store layout/sales and chant "Supermarket Sweep, Supermarket Sweep" really quietly to myself to keep motivated to finish in record time.

In college when I was desperate for tuition money and looking for game shows to go on to pay for school (that seems like a logical solution to a money problem, right?), I called to see if I could get an audition to be a contestant on the show. Sadly, the recording said they hadn't taped an episode for two years!

WINNERS

Congratulations to Erik and his friend, Mike Dobbs! Together they placed first in the Beach Cats class of the Hardway Race from Santa Barbara to Ventura Harbor on Saturday.

Like my former boss, Bill, used to always say: "Kiddo, be grateful your husband is a sailor, because his only mistress will be the sea!"

DECORATING 101

Erik decorated our office while I was in Seattle last month (see above). Fortunately, he took the lava lamps to work where he said "they will be appreciated". I'm doing everything in my power to distract him from hanging a gun on the top.

OUR LITTLE MAN

Today we dressed Luke up in a white shirt and tie for the first time. We thought he looked like such a "little man." The tie entertained him for quite awhile during church. (We're usually lucky if we make it through the sacrament, and he made it 5 minutes into the first talk before being disruptive!)


He loved to suck on the tie. When we got home, it was DRENCHED in slobber. So cute... yet so disgusting. Ew.

OFFICE FINALE THOUGHTS

Dear Jim Halpert,

Thank you for cutting your hair. It was beginning to be embarrassing and no one could understand why these two women were fighting over such a ragamuffin.

Sincerely, Me

Other thoughts: I loved how Jan got fired for "visiting her sister in Scottsdale" all the time and completely losing her mind. I can't wait to see how she makes the relationship with Michael her "full-time job." Dwight's reign over the office was great. Here is the link to Creed's blog. And finally, yes, I believe this means Pam and Jim are together. When the show returns in September I fully expect Pam and Jim* to be married with a baby on the way. (One can dream, right?)

*I know they aren't real people. THEY AREN'T REAL PEOPLE!

WHAT ROMNEY BELIEVES

Perhaps this is old news, but the mail tends to be a little late in Tehachapi. I received my copy of this week's Time this morning with Mitt Romney on the cover and the heading: What Does Romney Really Believe?. Inside, two articles are devoted to Romney's beliefs. (I'm still waiting for my Time Magazines with the covers: Giuliani: Why is He So Vague about His Screwed up Personal Life? or McCain: How Presidential is a Cameo in The Wedding Crashers?)

I feel as if the media tends to explain Mormonism as a joke, almost on the same level as if we believed in Santa Claus meeting the Easter Bunny. You could make any religion sound silly: Muslims traveling to Mecca, Catholics Nuns, etc. For example, I could tell you some funny stuff about Catholics, but I don't want to be disrespectful so I will stop. The point is, this is the US of A. We pride ourselves on being tolerant of religious difference, that's why all this "Mormons Are Ca-Ray-Zay!" nonsense is driving me nuts. No one questions Giuliani's Roman Catholicism... if you are going to play the "religion card" with one candidate, it should be fair game for all.

I don't want to blindly support Romney just because I can personally relate to him (a Mormon who served his mission in France). However, I feel that he is the most honest out of the GOP pack. He is criticized for stumbling on his words (opponents are creating fake controversy when they bring up Romney's gaffe about calling himself a life long hunter) or changing his stance on abortion (whoop-te-doo, who hasn't changed their mind over the course of a decade?) I want a President that I can trust and will encourage action. And yes, I take character into account - Giuliani's and McCain's marital infidelities do bother me.

Anyway, these are interesting articles. I especially liked the excerpt from the letter to Mitt from his father, George, about his failed presidential campaign... kind of heartbreaking.

WOW

My sister called me from Florida to tell me that Melinda got voted off. I was at mutual, so I couldn't confirm she wasn't lying to me until right now. (It still won't air in California for another hour.) WOW. Melinda was a really good singer, but come on folks, I don't mean to be rude but... she always kind of looked like something fell on her head. She'll still have a great career, I'm sure.

I like Blake the best. I know he isn't the greatest singer, but he is entertaining. However, Jordin should win. She looks the part and can carry off the corny single the winner has to release. I cringe thinking about Blake being forced to release a cheesy single like "A Moment Like This" about how "overcoming all obstacles" has made him the "Idol" he is today.*

Here is the link for tickets to American Idol and other shows. For American Idol, you have to get on the waiting list usually in December or January before the season starts up in order to get tickets during the finals. At least, that is what worked in the past!

*Side Thought: My sister, Kelley, seriously bawled the first time she saw the video for "A Moment Like This" because she was "so proud" of Kelly Clarkson. Ha ha ha. I love you, Kelley.

IRRITATION

I always get tickets to American Idol, every year, without fail. I don't always go, but I always get offered them. Well, this year, I did not get them. I'm guessing that I got on the waiting list too late. If they were going to come, they would of come last Friday, and they didn't. It's pathetic, but I am seriously sad. I wanted to hear Melinda sing and see Blake beatboxing LIVE! Instead, the ticket company has sent me tickets for Dancing with the Stars (I gave those to my sister-in-law, Mette) and now, today, they sent me an opportunity to see a pre-screening of The Bachelor finale live and meet the winners for a question and answer thing. Too bad I don't watch The Bachelor or that would probably be really exciting for me. (If anyone is interested in the Bachelor tickets, email me and they are yours!)

Boo-hoo. People are starving in Africa and I am sad about not getting American Idol tickets... where are my priorities!?

MY FAVORITE SHOWS REVISTED

I have a love-hate relationship with the television. For example, we only have the $12 basic cable package with 15 channels because I am afraid that if we get the 60 channel package I will never be able to turn it off. This way I don't watch so much television because I am very limited in my viewing choices. The problem was, I used to waste a lot of time in the past watching stupid shows. (I said USED TO.) Case in point - here are two of my past favorites:


The premise of Small Wonder (for those who totally missed out) was that this guy built a robot that looked like a 10 year old girl to help handicapped children. The guy brings the robot home to live with them. Genius. I thought the acting was great. Jamie was funny. The neighbor was HILARIOUS.


Ah yes, ALF. He ate cats and had a girlfriend named Wanda. The reruns of this show are painful for me to watch, but I loved every minute of it. What was wrong with me?! To this day, every time I hear this Bob Seger song, I think of ALF.

FAIR SKIN

I have never been able to tan very easily without sunburning first. So, today I decided to go for a long walk during the middle of the day without sunscreen hoping that I would get a little sun (especially on my legs) so that I wouldn't be so pale this summer.

Then this evening I was talking to my sister, Caitlin, who is going to school to be an Esthetician. She told me that after everything she has learned about skin, she will never leave the house again without wearing sunscreen. In addition to causing skin cancer, tanning speeds up skin aging. Have you ever been to the beach and seen those older women who look like leather... the "Crypt Keeper" ladies? That is a result of too much tanning! Duh.

The Crypt Keeper (aka Leather)

So, as dorky as it may sound, I am committing here to wearing sunscreen, hats, etc. and being unfashionably fair skinned this summer (unless of course I decide to go get one of those spray on tans, but I'd rather save my money). I don't want to be the leather Crypt Keeper lady that scares all the children at the beach.

I invite you to join me. Let's be pale together! For motivation, here are some fair skinned beauties:

SORT OF FREE MOVIE TICKETS

Albertsons is running this Pirates of the Caribbean 3 promotion right now until the end of May. If you spend $25 on "participating products" you receive 2 free tickets to the movie. Of course I totally fell for it and got suckered into buying all their products. (I justified buying products I wouldn't normally buy because I figured I would of spent $20 on the movie anyway, so I might as well get some cereal out of it.) I left the grocery store on Friday with 4 bottles of marinade, 2 bottles of salad dressing, a box of Raisin Bran and a large thing of laundry detergent, all so that I could get these two tickets to a movie I wasn't even going to see in the first place because the second one was so lousy! So, if you are a sucker like me (and I know you are!), run on down to Albertsons and claim your "sort of free" movie tickets now!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Despite being 8 months pregnant last Mothers Day, Erik told me I was not a "real mom" yet, so he didn't do anything for me for Mothers Day. Therefore, I will be milking tomorrow for all it is worth to make up for all those missed Mothers Days. (60-40) It is Mothers Day Eve and Erik has already cleaned the kitchen, done laundry, bought me flowers, gave me a really nice card that made me cry, and bought me Martinelli's Sparkling Cider. Wow, how can he top this tomorrow!?

Now, I turn the spotlight on the two mothers in my life: my mom and my mother-in-law. Since I can not be with either of them tomorrow, these amazingly bad poems are for you!

TO MY MOM

I'm glad you're my mother
But never a "Smother"
You're always up for a chat
and talk to Luke like he's your cat

Let us not forget that you are a Jew
Taught me how to be thrifty and make potato pancakes too

My best memories would have to be
all the great tales you used to tell me:
The Patty Hearst Kidnapping and Jonestown Massacre are just of a few
of the bedtime stories I learned from you

That may sound strange to ordinary folk
But you made me who I am and that is no joke

Thank you for being not only my mother, but pal -
You've made me glad that you are such an amazing gal!

TO MAMA LASSEN

Qualities galore are what you possess
Here are a few, (and you're never a mess)

Enough food for an army you easily cook
and yet still able to maintain your amazing good looks.
Plus a mother of nine,
And you've raised them all fine!

You're always offering to babysit
And your advice is a hit,
You're willing to listen or up for a talk
And are dedicated to taking your morning walks

I'm grateful you are my M-I-L,
Which means that you are swell!

A BAD SITUATION

While I was at the Young Women's Car Wash for Girls Camp this morning, Luke fell off the changing table. Erik said he did a head plant right off the table on to the diaper genie and then the floor. (Erik said he was standing next to Luke trying to catch him on the way down.) Anyway, I have been pretty scared for the last five hours because Luke was so subdued... he sat on my lap without squirming during the car wash (not normal) and then took a three hour nap (so not normal). But... he seems happy and okay now. As our friend Zach Madden once said, "You have to burn to learn, son, grab a log!" Hopefully, this will teach Luke to stop trying to dive off the changing table.

WALKING

We were finally able to catch Luke walking on camera yesterday. He's been taking a few steps here and there, but nothing very significant until yesterday. Please bear with us... we just both can't get over how cute he is walking!

LAYERS CLOTHING

Last Saturday, my sister-in-laws and I were invited over to the home of a woman trying to get rid of her Layers Clothing inventory. She was selling all the shirts for $5 and $10. I have never worn Layers Clothing before, but I admired their marketing because hey think how many more shirts you can sell if you convince women they have to wear 2 at a time! These shirts normally run around $20 each. Anyway, I ended up buying 4 shirts and I am now converted. I love these shirts! I can wear so many more of my clothes now without having to worry about this or that hanging out. I don't think I'll start throwing "Tee Parties" anytime soon (I have never been a fan of multi-level marketing, i.e., pampered chef, mary kay, candle parties, etc.), but I do wish I would of bought more of these shirts while they were so cheap.

On a side note, I have to applaud my sister-in-law, Else. She wrote an email to Layers last year about their two piece bathing suits. She pointed out the irony that a company so focused on covering the midriff exposes it freely in their bathing suit designs. I have noticed that the "midriff bearing" bathing suits are a little toned down now on their website (still prominent, but not as bad as before)... I wonder if she had anything to do with that?

PODCASTS

Since Tehachapi only gets 2 and a half radio stations (country music and heavy metal), I have become obsessed with iTunes. When I'm not listening to Virgin Radio over iTunes all day (I love hearing the traffic and weather report for England, plus they play really funny radio games like "Drunk or Stoned?" when it is the middle of the night over there), I usually have a podcast on. I'd love to hear what other podcasts folks are hooked on. Here are some of my favorites:

This American Life - Ira Glass sounds like a 15 year old and the show is really liberal, but I can't get enough of it! They feature interesting stories about ordinary people. Very entertaining.

The Lost Podcast with Jay and Jack - I am a big dork and if I missed something in an episode, Jay and Jack will be sure to point it out for me.

Ask a Ninja - A lot like Homestar Runner. Hilarious.

New BYU Speeches - The weekly BYU devotional in a podcast form.

Dave Ramsey Show - Dave Ramsey is this self proclaimed financial guru who talks about money the way "God and your Grandma" would. People call into his radio show and say things like, "I make $150k a year and we may have to file bankruptcy." Then Dave works them through their money problems. Erik actually called into his show once and was on. He asked what we should do about the crazy housing market and Dave said to consider moving.

IMPORTANT TV NEWS

ABC announced that Lost will end in 2010. The next three seasons will have 16 episodes each and will run like "24" (back to back) starting in February. Hallelujah! As Erik once said, "Now I can have my life back." Not that this show overly consumes us but sometimes you just can't help but get sucked in to the neverending questions. You know we are all just fooling ourselves by saying they are beginning to answer questions because with each answer there is about 5 more questions posed. Why do I keep watching this show??


In lame news, I read yesterday that stupid Karen on the Office will be back for season 4. I like Rashida Jones, but I was so mad when I read that, I could of thrown something at my computer. I could of literally thrown my computer! I have to keep telling myself, "It's not real life. Its just a tv show. Pam and Jim aren't real people, Cristin." Just like how Anne and Gilbert, and Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett aren't real people too.

SPACESHIP TWO IN USA TODAY

Spaceship Two was featured in an article in today's USA Today. $200,000 still seems a little pricey for me... I'll wait for the sale.

POOR HOFF

My sisters and I did some bad things to our parents as kids. When I was 5 I destroyed my mother's antique childhood heirloom to win the ugliest teddy bear contest at school. And then there was Kelley who as a teenager barricaded herself in the garage and threatened to saw her arm off if she did not get her own bedroom. (They had to call the cops to get her to calm down.) But to release a videotape of your father drunk to Entertainment Tonight?! Wow, that one takes the cake! If you watch the full version on You Tube it starts looking like a commercial for the Carl's Jr. $6 burger. I guess his alcoholism now explains this video and especially this one.

ALMOST...

Luke is almost walking. It is very exciting. Every time he stands up we all pause and take a breath - is he going to do it now? He'll take a few steps and then get down and start crawling again. His big trick today was standing up in the middle of the room with his arms up in the air. My dad was here today and we kept trying to get him to stand up on his own. Of course he wouldn't perform on command, but as soon as my dad drove away Luke stood up in the middle of the front yard. I don't know why we're trying to encourage him to walk. It's hard enough to chase after him while he's crawling!

SPIDERMAN 3

Call me crazy, but I don't get all the hype surrounding Tobey Maguire. We saw Spider Man 3 on Saturday night. I liked the 2nd one better, but still thought it was good. However, every time I watch a Spider Man movie I think the same thing: James Franco should be playing Spider Man, Tobey Maguire should be Harry Osborn, and Kirsten Dunst looks like my sister-in-law Trine! Tobey Maguire is the same in every movie I have ever seen him in! I just feel like its Spider Man starring the boring kid from Cider House Rules. This post probably sounds really mean. Oh well, I LOVE KIRSTEN DUNST though and thought she was great. Plus, if I am forced to watch any fantasy like superhero movie, I still prefer Spiderman over the other ones.

TEA TIME

I attended Doris and Terri's (Erik's aunt and cousin's) annual tea party last Friday. It's a big event with 5 courses, musical numbers, waiters with bow ties... very fancy. Oh and did I mention that every woman is required to wear a big hat? It is a lot of fun. I think that next year I will start a trend and wear white gloves.

Doris and Terri put a ton of work into it. They do 2 tea parties in their backyard. One on Wednesday (around 30 people) and one on Friday (around 50 people). Sadly, they said that guests have been "stealing" things from the parties. Take a look at this fancy tea spoon. How could you not be tempted?

Here is Candace stealing the tea spoon. Don't tell Doris.

Kaci stealing her name holder. Shame on you!

My brother-in-law Christian as one of the servers... gotta love those hats!

The sandwich course

The dessert course

My sister Kaci and I enjoying our tea. Isn't it loverly!? Only 360 more days till the next tea party!

AMERICAN IDOL PREDICTIONS

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked, "Cristin, who do you think will win American Idol this year?" I would probably have about $10, (mostly from my Mother who calls specifically to ask me that question each week). So, for the benefit of everyone else, I am posting my predictions here. Keep in mind, this isn't who should win, but who will probably win:

#4 - Lakisha

#3 - Blake

#2 - Melinda

#1 - Jordin

For those of you living near Indian Casinos or in Nevada (Trisha), I expect a cut of your winnings if you choose to use this insider information to win a few bucks.

STORYTIME

I don't know what was I thinking when I decided to take Luke to Storytime at the Tehachapi Library this morning. In retrospect it was probably more for me to have an excuse to leave the house. It's raining today and I want Luke to start interacting with other kids more.

Luke spent the whole time doing these flying "cougar-like" leaps onto the other kids who were sitting nicely on their carpet squares listening to the story. When he wasn't attacking the other children he was attacking the story lady, pulling books off the shelves, crawling onto the book cart, trying to push the book cart, and trying to push their chairs everywhere. How do I teach discipline to a 10 month old? I want him to be able to play well with other children, but maybe he's too young for that? It was a little disheartening for me because I want so badly for him to be able to have friends. We probably won't be back to Storytime for a few more years.

PBS EXAMINES THE MORMONS

We finished watching PBS' 2-Part Series on Mormons last night. I have very mixed feelings about the whole thing. Highlights for me included: the converted woman who thought the LDS church was the LSD church and said, "That's the church for me!", interviews with Marlin K. Jensen, and stories about the church's humanitarian work. Low points were definitely all the interviews with excommunicated members, in particular, those two women who were talking about the temple. I was holding my breath the whole time they were speaking. Someone interviewed brought up a good point - excommunications are never published, in other words the church never makes a statement, so we are only hearing one side of the story.

I don't really feel bad either if Mitt Romney has to defend his religion to the public during his campaign. Don't we all have to "defend" our religion at times in one form or another, i.e., on a mission, to our friends, etc.? I asked Erik if anyone at work said anything to him about it and he said, "No, because no one watches PBS, only Mormons do."

CHEAP ICE CREAM

All Baskin Robbins around the country are selling ice cream tonight from 5:30 - 10:30 p.m. for 31 Cents a scoop. The proceeds go to charity. I wonder if that is the actual cost of the ice cream. How much do you think they mark that stuff up? Anyway, I will definitely be there.

ANYONE KNOW A GOOD AIDS JOKE?

NOT A DOG

I have turned into one of those people... you know one of the moms you see pushing a baby stroller all over town? That's me! Since the weather has been nice, I only drive somewhere when I absolutely must. But, you know what I really hate while I'm out walking? Lawn oranaments. 9 times out of 10 I think they are dogs and then I am really mad after I realize that they aren't real dogs after I have crossed over to the opposite side of the street to avoid them. Here are some of the other things that I have recently crossed over to the opposite side of the street to avoid because I have mistaken it for a dog:

Big Cats that Look Like Dogs
Rocks
Trash Blowing in the Wind
Old Tires

Apparently, I suffer from Cynophobia. Here is the definition of my disease du jour (more like "the disease de ma vie"):

Cynophobia - An abnormal and persistent fear of dogs. Sufferers of this fear experience anxiety even though they realize that most dogs pose no threat. To avoid dogs, they may barricade yards or refuse to travel except in an enclosed vehicle.