12.12.2007

CALL ME CRAZY

I've decided to have my baby at home with a licensed midwife. Think what you will, but I am really excited about it. I haven't told a lot of people, because most of the people I have told react like I am getting an abortion. However, who cares, this is what I'm doing and I feel so much better about it than going down to Bakersfield to have my baby at the hospital.

It all started with the whole waterbirth drama. I talked to my doctor a month ago, and while he is a really nice man, we just don't click as far as "birth plans" go. He told me that I couldn't labor in the water because the water temperature is too variable (okay, tell that to the 100's of hospitals in the country that offer tubs to laboring women) and that he doesn't like it when women do it naturally because they make too much noise. I think the noise comment was the one that put me over the edge. He told me about two patients who just did it naturally and he was so proud of them because they didn't make a peep. He also told me that the daytime hospital staff will not work with my birth plan, but the nighttime nurses will. (Whatever that means?) He told me that if I wanted the kind of labor I desired then I should get a hotel room nearby and come to the hospital at the very last minute. When I left his office, I was so conflicted. I wanted the focus of my birth to be about the baby, not about fighting with hospital staff and laboring in a dirty hotel room bathtub.

So, I started doing a lot of research, reading, and talking to people, and my concerns about a home birth slowly vanished. As long as I am low risk (which, so far I am), then it's a go for doing it at home! All the studies I found indicated no difference in mortality rates in low risk mothers delivering in hospitals or at home. The midwife's prenatal visits are even more comprehensive than the doctor's. Seriously, why would she want to take on a risky mother? It would not only damage her practice, but her credibility. She's a paramedic too, brings oxygen, can stitch me up, and even administer IV's!

The number one question I get asked is: What if something goes wrong?? Hopefully by doing comprehensive prenatal visits, we can determine if there is that possibility (such as a breach baby) and avoid it. She said she has a 5% hospital transfer rate and in over 150 births, has lost no one. Besides, how many times do things go wrong in the hospital because of screwed up epidurals or unnecessary c-sections?

The best part is that I can labor and give birth in the water. I can hold my baby after he is born. (Luke was whisked away and I was left looking at a picture on a digital camera.) I don't have to get a hotel room in Bakersfield. I won't have to worry about having my baby in the car (Luke was a quick labor). I don't have to be fighting with hospital staff while I am in labor. I don't have to create a birth plan that no one will look at. I don't have to be conscientious about making noise while in labor (because I will)!

So, I guess I'm letting my "freak flag" fly now with this whole home birth experience, but Erik and I both feel so much better about this than the hospital thing. Although it may defy normal logic to most people, we couldn't be more excited!

23 comments:

  1. I've always thought seriously about a home birth (at some point when I eventually have children). A good friend of mine did it last year and loved everything about it. She said the only draw back is that she was up the next day taking care of her toddler. Just make sure and rest like you were in the hospital and the rest will be fine! Congratualtions on a big decision!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's awesome for you Cristin! If I wasn't such a wuss for pain I think having a baby at home is a great idea. My sister had her baby naturally and swears by it. She switched to seeing a midwife so her next child can be natural as well. Better to just do what you want to do and not have to deal with a fickle ob/gyn and hospital staff. I think if my doctor tried to tell me that laboring women can't make loud noises I would smack him across the face.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good Luck...I don't think I could ever do it, but you are probably stronger than me. I hope that it turns out better than you hope for!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can't believe all the hogwash from your doctor. It sounded like he was saying a bunch of stuff to you in hopes that you didn't have a brain. I don't care what methods people do to have their child, but it really frustrates me that we have staff and hospitals that are so UNaccomodating even for the small things like natural or epidural. Why do they care so much?! If they were giving birth, they would have differing opionions from their nurses and want their options. So annoying.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are crazy! But I like it. I don't know anyone our age that has had kids at home. A close friend's mother had two children at home with a midwife and loved it. It does seem like a much better choice to the options available to you

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well more power to ya!!! My sister in law had a home water birth in Tehacapi as well last year, and she loved it and all went well!!! no problems birthing and delivering!!! The only thing that she conplained about was trying to get her daughters bith certificate and register the birth. She said that the non-citizens got treated better than she did, and she wanted to yell at all the people and tell them that she gave birth to the child and didn't steal it. She loved the water birth and her midwife. let me know if y'all wan ther number!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You have our total support, Cristin and Erik. I was so grateful for all 9 of our natural births, even though they were in the birthing rooms at the hospital. I was really blessed to not have complications with any of them. There are women that have problems and don't have this choice. I never had the desire to deliver in a tub of water, but I did it the way I wanted to do it. Hans being born at home was a bonus....that wasn't my plan, but even for a 43 year old woman, it went wonderfully well! I'm sure it will be a wonderful experience for you and Erik. Dad Lassen was born at home, too, in Denmark. That was just the way it was done there.
    Love to you all!
    mama lassen

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cristin,
    I was wanting to ask you when I saw you at Candace's "Office" party, but forgot...when you had Luke out here, what child birth classes did you take? You told me before but I cant remember. If you could get that info to me it would be great! I guess you can message me back on here or email me at royalvbal3@yahoo.com. Thanks! Good luck with the home birth!
    ~Heather Talley

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just don't build a birthing hut in your backyard. A friend here worked with a girl who did that. (There are a lot of hippies in Lawrence, KS.)

    You are braver than I. But you sound happy and at peace with it and that's what matters. Hope all goes well.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I had three friends in Washington that did all their births at home with a midwife. One of them (who is a really good friend) had both of her kids at home with a birthing tub. They all loved it!!! The one that used a birthing tub told me that she would always get annoying people telling her how "dangerous" it is to give birth at home and she would just have to tell them that she's done the research and that it's none of their business! If I were you, I would totally have the baby at home. I can't believe your doctor is such a jerk!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Good for you, if that's what you want. That dr. sounds crazy and it sounds like the Bakersfield hospital staff needs to go to a place like Provo and learn from some of the staff there! Good luck with everything, I hope it all works out super smooth and great.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I hate when (male - no offense to good male docs of course) are so unsympathetic when it comes to labor...especially when they have never had to actually go thru it. I had a good friend deliver at home post two c-sections because her doctor told her she wouldn't have a choice if she went to the hospital (a c-section is automatic with the third if you've had two previous). She loved it! If she can do it....I think she even stopped contracting and had to push the baby out on her own.....like I said if she can do it then i'm sure yours will be perfect. To each her own!

    ReplyDelete
  13. (Caitlin)YOU ARE CRAZY! THAT IS SO WEIRD! WHO WOULD EVER DO THAT!!..... just kidding.. I read all your comments looking for that and everyone was so supportive. I'm so happy for you.. you gotta do what you gotta do. Your doctor was obviously crazy. If you and Erik feel good about it than go for it. I'm sure it will be wonderful. Zach would never let me do it at home, after the complications, with Jonahs labor. But you make some really good points. WE were all born at home, and we turned out super awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  14. It sounds like you scored the crap trifecta: crap doctor, crap hospital, and crap proximity to civilization. This will be way better for you because your kid's birth certificate will not say "Bakersfield," which would cost him 15 IQ points and pre-qualify him for prison.

    ReplyDelete
  15. yay yay yay for you!! You so made a great decision. I think I went through the same process when I had Edie. And actually, the mother mortality rate and newborn complication is actually LESS with homebirths! And the water is great, and just being able to climb into your bed with your baby right after the birth is great... and well I just can't say enough good things about it! Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm glad you found something you're comfortable with. I don't think I would have ever considered a home birth until recently when I've met people with great success stories. Of course that option would NOT be a good choice for me and my birthing history.

    Make labor as emotionally comfortable as possible, just let me know what that is -- I've never had one! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Brandon's comment is hilarious! Ben calls Bakersfield - Bakertuckey.

    ReplyDelete
  18. What a well-worded post. It sounds like to me that you have really weighed your options and chose the one that is best for you. Quite frankly I never considered it as an option, but now you've even got me thinking about (for those future babies).
    I also have a friend who had her baby delivered by a midwife at home. She LOVED it. It sounded like the best experience (this was in Japan). I hope you have nothing but support for your birthing plans from your family...and even if you get a few "boos" go forward anyway. I think you are really making this about the little one anyway. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Good for you! I have been trying to decide whether to do a home or hospital birth. People generally give me a thumbs down when I suggest giving birth at home. I already have a midwife, so I guess it's up to me.

    ReplyDelete
  20. CORRECTION: I was the only one of us NOT born at home, remember, and I am also the only one of us who is normal. cristin, you are crazy. (well I still need to read your blog fully) and btw, I think you really won the prize this time for most readers/comments. for sure you are getting the award at the ceremony this year

    ReplyDelete
  21. (cristin's mom) CORRECTION: Kaci was the only one not born at HER home. If using someone else's bedroom disqualifies her as a homebirth and makes her feel better about herself, then it was worth the inconvenience.

    ReplyDelete
  22. You should call up Marlo (Anderson) Moncur (Erik knows her) and chat with her. She had hers in a spa the midwives brought with them at her house! Talk about a posh getgo! And they cleaned up! Whatever you decide, I wouldn't EVER use that doctor for anything, even to get an opinion on cough syrup! What a jerk! And what's with that comment on the night nurses? Somehow I don't think a birth plan includes a PLANNED time of day! What a nut!
    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  23. Haans said that if he was in the room with you he would have had some "serious words" with your doctor and he wants his address so he can send Dr. Dimwit some hatemail. I just can't believe he was so closed minded. It is about the comfort of the mother and not at the convience of his agenda. That is the problem with today, everything is rush, rush, rush, and everything is planned. Haans just said "the Dr. also is not paid to tell a women how much noise she can make during birth."

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails