10.01.2007

IF ONLY I COULD REALLY HAND THIS LETTER OUT

Dear Well Meaning Older Women at Church:

Thank you for constantly sharing your "love and concern" for my child's well-being. However, your unsolicited advice is wearing on me and causing me to avoid you in the halls. I don't want to be a mean person, I just thought you should know the following:

1. Please don't loudly and publicly tell me that I should not allow my 15 month old to suck on a "plug" (as you call it). First of all, I am at survival mode at church. This means that I don't care if he uses a pacifier if it will entertain him and keep him happy.

2. Ditto on telling me that a security blanket or "silky" is a very bad idea. I don't care. You argued that I should just "give him hugs, because I will never take a hug away like I will eventually a silky." Really, I don't care.

3. Oh, are you still screaming loudly that my child has "dangerously" climbed on top of a chair or pushed open a door and might get his fingers caught somehow or somewhere? WHOOP-TE-DO! This is what he does. I choose my battles. Things I don't fight with Luke about are: Chair climbing, door pushing and touching wheels of strollers. Things I do care about: Playing in garbage cans or toilets, stove climbing, putting things in electrical sockets, and running into the middle of streets.

4. You are constantly telling me that you don't understand why I can't bring my child into class with me. Do you think I like being in the hall? Do you think it is fun out here? I would gladly sit in class if I could.

5. Nursery lady, please stop staying, "We'll see Lucas in a couple of weeks in nursery, right?" I've told you many times that we have 3 months to go. And don't you have some records that tell you this information? When I am fighting a cranky toddler in the hall the last thing I want to be reminded of is that it will be this way for 3 more months.

6. Finally, my name is Cristin, not Kristy. His name is Luke, not Lucas.

I want to be friends with you. Really, I do. I know your intentions are good, but I thought it was important that you know how I feel.

Sincerely,
Me

19 comments:

  1. (Caitlin): Man, I can't believe that women actually say those things to you! I'm not looking forward to that. You would think that they would remember what it was like having a toddler and leave you alone! I'm sorry. You should say, "You are so right, since you know so much why don't you just take Luke for the rest of church."

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  2. Um . . . I hate to be a voice of dissent, but if it were me in class, I'd rather you take your kid in the hall. I have a hard enough time paying attention, and if there's a toddler there, he's got my undivided attention. Much more entertaining than the teacher some times. Oh, and can you imagine being 15 months and being stuck in a stuffy room full of grown-ups that want you to sit still. You'd just done that in Sacrament meeting. C'mon, it's hard enough being an adult and doing it. What would it be to be a toddler doing it?
    I'm with you, Cristin, pick your battles.

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  3. Cristin,
    People who are done raising their kids and people who don't have kids yet seem to be experts on raising kids - I just ignore them and then laugh at them behind their backs.

    Hayden's former nursery leader (a woman without children at the time) once told me that after having Hayden in her nursery she never wanted a son. Her firstborn was a boy - HA!

    I am writing future Kim a letter to remind what it's like to be a mom of young children.

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  4. I often get those comments, too. It drives me nuts! Don't worry. The next three months will go by quickly and he'll be in nursery before you know it (yay for me, yesterday was Gavin's first Sunday in nursery! :-) And it's SO nice to get to attend my meetings and actually know what the teachers are talking about). What I'm really looking forward to is having all my kids old enough that I can sit through the whole Sacrament meeting without having to take one out!

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  5. man if I were you I'd go inactive j/k!

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  6. I can't believe people are like that. Okay, I guess I can. But it hasn't happened to me in so long I'd forgotten. We're lucky enough to live in a college town, with a lot of young families in our ward. There are 11 CTR 5s on the roll, and 10 sunbeams... and basically everyone of childbearing age has had a baby in the past year. So they all luckily understand. We haven't had to take our kids our of sacrament mtg. for a long time. (Other than drinks and bathroom, and the occasional poke to them from my husband to ask if they are thirsty during testimony mtg.) The day does come. And then you start all over again with a new one. :)

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  7. You are funny! I know how you feel. Love the way your blog looks!

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  8. I am such a fan of letters. You know, I don't have kids, but I firmly believe in karma and that belief generally keeps my mouth shut.

    Now, what I'm worried about is not what my children might someday do, but what my response will be. I'm not exactly good at keeping my mouth shut in response to $5 comments (that's what my family calls them because someone should have to pay you $5 for wasting your time).

    Good luck! And, hugs, really??? Creepy. Don't let Luke hang out with that lady.

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  9. I love your new blog layout! I've totally been there with the comments. The worst two were grocery shopping when some random stranger approached me and told me Kylee's teeth were going to fall out cause she was sucking on a plug. I responded "would you like to take my child grocery shopping without a plug...good luck with that." and walked off. The second was when I was with Greg and he was pushing the cart (a little too fast cause I was really pregnant, and I was lingering to get away from Kylee screaming "MOMMY!") and another random stranger came up and asked if that was my child, to which I said yes, and she said she was calling for me. I then glared her down and said "its her Dad's turn"! People are rude! Sometimes I like being rude back. :)!

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  10. I stumbled acrossed your blog really enjoyed it! My kids all had "silkies" too. Much better than them pulling on my "g's" while trying to nurse!

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  11. I'm crying from laughing so hard...I think this letter needs to be on your blog header...which by the was is really nice...I'm forwarding it to all of my friends here...this past sunday mclaren was sooo bad that i felt like stuffing him in the trash can...matt snuck home for a cookie so i couldn't even pawn him off! I bolted out of church and yelled at matt to bring the others home!

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  12. I think that you should attach your letter to the next Relief Society newsletter!

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  13. Cristin: disaster has struck. When I view your blog at work, it's just yellow text on white background. Am I the only one who has this problem now? How can it be fixed? If I can't read your blog at work, that's one less reason to even go to work at all.

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  14. Oh that is great, and I agree - Im to the point now, where im just not nice anymore - can't people just keep comments to themselves!

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  15. Wow I can't believe people really say those things to you! By the way I love the new blog, very cute!

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  16. Take a deep breath and make Eric take the boy.

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  17. That is such a funny letter. I can believe people said those things because people are crazy, but in that amount is absurd. Maybe because I'm new in the ward and Chloe is a girl (and are supposed to be calmer or hasn't reached that point yet???) I haven't had those comments yet. Thank goodness!

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  18. Hang in there, Cristin. I think you are AMAZING! Luke is so blessed to have you for his mom and i'm one of those "older ladies" at church!

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