When we took Luke in for his 12 month check up last month, the pediatrician asked us all sorts of questions about what he typically eats. The doctor had this clipboard and he was going down a list, saying things like, "Vegetables? How many times a week? What kinds? Does he like potatoes?" I admit that Erik and I were pretty "liberal" in our answers:

Pediatrician: Eggs?

Us: Oh yeah, all the time. (He's maybe eaten eggs 5 times
in his entire life.)

Pediatrician: So, about two eggs a week?

Us: Yeah. Sure. (Luke hasn't touched an egg since the doctor's visit.)

Pediatrician: Fish?

Us: Luke loves salmon! (He had eaten it twice in his whole life.)

Pediatrician: So, maybe 3 ounces of salmon a week?

Us: Yeah. Sure. (Luke hasn't had salmon since then.)

If we were being more honest, I would have said, "Luke nurses whenever he wants and eats massive amounts of fruit, graham crackers, beans, yogurt, cheese and cheerios." But, that probably doesn't sound very balanced (especially to my pediatrician who thinks I should be done nursing), and one would begin to wonder how my child survives.

And if I were to be
completely 100% honest, Luke's favorite foods, the ones he keep going back to, are:

3. The Dirt in the Houseplant

I'm agressively trying to stop him from doing this. It's really messy too.

2. Any Bar of Soap

I tried to get a picture of the bar that he completely bit into, but the teethmarks already wore out. If you think I am a bad parent, my sister-in-law, Kirsten, is on a first name basis with Poison Control and they said that soap will not kill a child. So, I'm like, hey Luke if you want to eat soap, that is your own problem. (Of course, I'm trying to get him to stop, but it's not really high on my worry scale right now.)

1. Burt's Bees Avocado Butter Hair Treatment

Luke will find this and suck on it. I went to a Burt's Bees presentation once and they said that while they wouldn't exactly go spreading their products all over a bagel, they are safe to eat. What can I say, my kid has good taste!

Disclaimer: I know that Luke really shouldn't be eating any of this stuff. I am trying my darndest to get him to stop. Then again, it's not like I'm letting him drink Drain-o or encouraging this behavior. So, please, no calls to Child Protective Services.


  1. I heard soap gives you the runs. Did you tell mom the doctor thinks you should be done nursing?

  2. As long as you don't ever put pop/soda in a sippy cup I won't call CPS on you.

  3. Kim - Have I ever told you that is my biggest pet peeve - people putting soda in sippy cups and bottles? It drives me nuts!

  4. I find it funny that we feel the need to fudge on the details when it comes to doctors. I guess we just don't want to hear some long lecture from them. BTW, my mom nursed one of my brothers until he was 2 and another brother until he was 3! Two of us until we were 1, because the next baby was coming and needed it, and only one kid weaned himself at 9 months, he nursed the least. Of my mother's five children none of us has broken a bone or spent one night in the hospital after the initial birth stay. That doesn't mean that I am prepared to nurse my own child for that long. I am just saying that a lot of kids here in the U.S. are nursed for a long time and are just fine.

  5. Oh yeah, I know of a woman that nursed her son until he was 4 and now (he's 6) he is obsessed with breasts. Something to think about!

  6. And don't put juice in a bottle. I can't handle seeing that.

    I totally make stuff up for the doctor. I mean, do they really expect me to know how many servings of different food groups my kid gets, and how many ounces of milk.

    My daughter (who will be five next month) found a sequin on the floor of the church bathroom, next to the drain, about a month ago, was holding in her lips while she washed her hands, and accidentally swallowed it. She thought she was going to die. Yet she's my kid who puts everything in her mouth and bites it... including, as I've stated before, her bunkbed.

  7. Hey girl...I don't even know if you remember who this is back from Camarillo singles ward. Sounds like you guys are doing well. Your still just as funny as I remember!

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  9. My doctor (i kid you not) told me to nurse my daughter as much as i want as long as she's weaned before kindergarten. Then we both had a nice chuckle before I replied "i think i can handle that".

  10. I have gone to a couple of Burt's Bees seminars and they honestly tell you that a baby can eat a whole tube of diaper cream and their poop will just be silky smooth.

  11. Cristin,
    Don't ever visit my in-laws if you don't like to see pop in a sippy. They are always trying to sneak Owen sips and they drink the hard stuff - mountain dew and pepsi...yeah right. Like I'm going to let my 11-month-old do the dew. I don't even let my 5-year-old have that crap. My nieces all drink pop in sippy cups. They need something to wash their cheetos down with.

  12. (cristin's mom) I sure hope this doesn't mean that he has pika.



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