Erik and I have this joke, usually relating to our marriage, but it can apply to many things: Don't expect anything and you will not be disappointed.

Well, how can I not expect anything... ever?

Expectations are helpful. I expected labor to feel like a gunshot wound and when it didn't, I was pleasantly surprised.

Expectations are exhausting. I expected Luke to sleep 12 hours a night by now like all the other supposed "angel" babies people brag about, and he doesn't and probably never will.

Expectations are painful. I expected to have a couple of kids and own a house by the time I was 30, and that doesn't look like it will be happening. (As I approach 30, I realize that the only difference between 30 and 20 is that I now own a refrigerator, washer and dryer.)

The reason I bring this up is because there is this really nice new family in the ward. The wife is expecting her second baby any day now and her husband is going out of town on her due date for a business trip for four days! What's even crazier is that she is perfectly fine with it!! When they left our house the other night, I turned to Erik and said, "If you EVER leave town on purpose on the day that I am having your baby, I WILL LITERALLY KILL YOU. This is not a threat, but a promise." Maybe our friend isn't upset about her husband being gone because she didn't expect him to be there anyway. (Phil Stacey missed the birth of his child to audition for American Idol and I think a lot of people voted for him because they liked that story. I, on the other hand, did not vote for him because a) I do not think it is honorable to miss the birth of your child to audition for a reality show and b) he reminded me of Mr. Clean when he sang.) Erik gave up an all expenses paid trip to Mexico from his boss and an obligation to be in Ben and Alex's wedding party because they conflicted with Luke's birth. I don't think there was any doubt in our minds that he wouldn't do these things. I know, I shouldn't judge, maybe the business trip is super important... more important than the birth of a baby though?

I guess I do expect some things out of Erik, like certain behaviors. Yesterday he finally got his motorcycle license. This has been a long time coming and he was very excited to pass the test. On his way home from work, the motorcycle either broke down or ran out of gas (he hasn't figured that part out yet) and I went to rescue him somewhere in between Mojave and Tehachapi. As I pulled up to his motorcycle on the side of the road, Erik was nowhere to be seen. My first thought was that he was kidnapped by some crazy truck driver or desert cult, but then I saw him running out of the desert towards me. He said he was "looking at the Joshua Trees." I said, "Uh-huh, sure. You were just embarrassed that your co-workers would drive by and see you stranded on the side of the road." He smiled, "Yeah." That is the great thing about marriage, I expected my husband to behave a certain way and he did. I like being right. Plus, I probably would have done the same thing.


  1. I know what you mean. I heard a story from a very reliable source that someone left their wife a couple of hours after giving birth to go to a football game in another state. I told Tyler that if he did that to me that he should not bother coming back, because there will be nothing to come back to.

  2. I'm not sure if you remember who I am (I honestly wouldn't expect you to), but I am Lindsey Burnham. I am good friends with your brother-in-law Steffen. I met you In California when your sister-in-law Else got married... I did your girls' hair... ringing a bell? If not that's TOTALLY understandable... Okay, so I know that Steffen already told you that I-among others-read your blog religiously. This is true; I simply LOVE it! You are so clever and witty in all of your entries and they make for great conversation among our circle of friends. I really like this entry-I totally understand and can relate. One of my brothers has a similar philosophy: he says that gravity works on EVERYTHING, even hopes. So you should never get your hopes up because they WILL fall. Anyways, I love your blog! Thanks! :o)

  3. Our family motto is "Expect the worst then be pleasantly surprised". It works pretty well.

  4. Our motto is "Plan and Prepare, but expect things to change!" We've never had anything turn out the way we thought it would. Or you can always have low expectations and be pleasantly surprised.

  5. That is funny...I bet it's nice to know someone that well.

  6. oh...and I edited my post to include a link to the company...I just didn't want to put the actual name in there...you never know what someone might google.



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