7.26.2007

THE DEVIN FLEWTON PROBLEM

The California "Devin"

When I was at NAU, there was a guy named Devin Flewton* in our singles ward. Devin looked somewhat normal, but in reality he was a compulsive liar, a greasy womanizer, and really into country music. You know the type. I will never forget the conversation we had when I first moved into town. He laid on the charm big time. Actual conversation:

Me: I just got home from living in Denmark.

Devin: I lived in Denmark. Where did you live?

Me: On a tiny island named Bornholm.

Devin: Me too. You have beautiful eyes.

Me: There is no way you lived on Bornholm. When did you live there?

Devin: Last year. So do you want to go out sometime?

Me: What, do you think I'm stupid? Heck no! (Just kidding, I just said no, politely.)

I have met several variations of "Devin" in other singles wards. Most wards are required to have at least one "Devin." If you do not know a "Devin" it is possible that this is because you are your ward's "Devin."

The California variations were usually into rap music and P-Diddy's pseudo -"gangsta" line of clothing. Either way, these "Devins" notoriously prey on all the unassuming new girls in the singles ward. Since the victim was new to the ward, she would get too serious with him too fast before she realized that he was a big time greasy womanizer. The big joke was, "So, who's back is Devin scratching during church this Sunday?" The girl would usually wise up after a week or so and dump Devin. You feel bad for Devin because he is so helpless, but then again, it also seems like he is kind of doing it to himself. I never wanted to get friendly enough with him to actually try to help him for fear that he would try to kiss me or something. A girl needs to protect herself, you know?

Flash forward to married life, and I am still encountering what I call, "THE DEVIN FLEWTON PROBLEM," i.e., making friends with people too quickly. A new family moves into the ward and within a few weeks you start trading babysitting, committing to holding FHE together every week, double dating, sharing secrets, maybe even planning vacations together and then voila! You discover they are crazy, weird and overbearing. How do you gracefully (and quickly) remove yourself from this brand new close friendship without looking flaky or rude? Is it possible to go from being super close friends to "hi-bye" friends without anyone's feelings getting hurt?

(Or maybe I should just love everyone and get over it because as my husband knows, we desperately need friends in the 'Hachapi... even if it is with a "Devin Flewton" family.)


*Not his real name, but very close to his real name.

8 comments:

  1. Okay, so "Devin Flewton"? 1) Not a very good name disguise. 2) I was one of those unfortunate girls and I am still embarrassed about it today. 3) As a wiser girl who had already met Devin Flewton, you should have warned me!

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  2. I like to call the Devin's I know- "Mr. Magic".

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  3. Just stop returning calls. Seriously. Life's too short. I mean, as I told a guy the other night, I need to love all of God's children, but I don't need to date them...and you don't need to be friends with them.

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  4. Ok, so I totally know what you are talking about. I am so clueless as to how to avoid those awkward situations, while still being friendly. We once found some friends in our ward who were WONDERFUL, then they moved. Grr. which means we had to replace them, and then that left us open to greet a "devin" into our lives. However, by my own admission, I have been the "devin" at social gatherings. I am always the person that either crosses the line, or talks a little too loud, all the while thinking that I am being charming... my husband and I made an agreement that he would give me a sign (like tugging on his ear) when he noticed me getting a little too carried away.

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  5. Is that picture really a devin you know?

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  6. okay I hope you don't think I'm a weirdo internet stalker- but having said that-I found your blog through my sister in law Katie's blog and I've become an addict. Your posts are hilarious!!! You crack me up and I had to comment today because I was lauging so hard with the Devin post because I had a Devin experience in one of the single wards I attended. I was that one new girl that you describe. It took me about a week or two to catch up.. You are too funny and I really enjoy your blog .Hope you don't mind me checking it out once in a while..

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  7. its ok Aracely, welcome to the admitted world of blog-stalking!

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  8. HA-HA-HA, Kelley.
    I seriously laughed for minutes.

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