6.26.2007

THE NEWS


Damn you, Dateline NBC!

My sweet husband, Erik, is terrified of horror movies. Now, when I say horror, I don't mean The Exorcist or Nightmare on Elm Street, I mean Signs, The Others, and selected scenes in the first Pirates of the Caribbean. He put his coat over his head in the movie theatre when we saw Signs. Then he drove me nuts from pacing back and forth behind the couch, wringing his hands in anguish, during the Others.

I, on the other hand, am terrified of real life, namely Dateline NBC, 48 Hours Investigates, reruns of Unsolved Mysteries, and sometimes, PBS.
One year for Halloween we rented a PBS "American Experience" episode about the Donner Party from the library and I had trouble sleeping for weeks because it scared me so bad. I don't want to watch these news shows, but then they draw me in. I watch them and get really scared. I then think about the stories all the time, until I get myself all worked up into a frenzy. I even start thinking about how the reenactors would portray me and my family if some awful crime happened to us. Then I can't sleep because I keep thinking I see Kim Jong Il in my closet. I finally pass out at 2 a.m. Stupid, I know.

From watching Dateline NBC, et. al, I have learned that the typical murder victim is a woman at home alone. The murderer is usually her husband, boyfriend, stalker, or guy that comes to her door pretending to sell something (like alarm systems). The bad guy will push his way into the house when she answers the door and kill the victim. This means that I freak out anytime someone knocks on my door during the day when I am home alone. I try to discreetly look out my peephole, but then I worry that the person at the door saw me do that. Today the mail lady dropped a package off at my door and I just stood there, frozen, until I heard her walk away.

It's all very silly, especially since I live Tehachapi (population 6,780) where the biggest news is how angry people are that a Wal-mart is coming to town. Plus, I live on a cul-de-sac with a Prison Guard, Fireman and two CHP officers who usually have their cop cars parked in front of their homes,

Hey, at least my fears are legitimate.

10 comments:

  1. I totally do the same thing. Except, after hearing some of the news stories about the husband's murdering their wife and kids I get so worked up and psyched out that I end up asking Jake cautiously, "do you think you would ever kill me?" Like I can't be too sure. Just like the victims in these programs were going along day to day in a "Happy" marriage, etc. Or so they thought. Jake used to be shocked and horrified at my asking. Now he doesn't even look up from reading a book, or eating his food, and without pausing to think or with his mouth full says, "no Jamie. I don't want to kill you or the kids, you have nothing to worry about. I won't turn into a psycho killer no matter how bad things get." It still doesn't comfort me. I'm sure he's capable of it.

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  2. People who are sensitive can't watch horror movies. That's a fact!

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  3. Unsolved Mysteries is thee scariest show on t.v.! All I have to do is listen to the music and get freaked out. The play it on the lifetime channel, because women are really the only ones that care to watch it.

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  4. and I can't believe you said selling alarm systems! how about men selling meat out of a cooler?

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  5. I not only get freaked out by watching the shows, but also from the scenarios of what I would do if someone tried to attack me. For example, karate chops, back kicks and flips, etc. My problem is that I know people that have been in real life dramas, so everything is much more intense for me. Like my friend's sister-in-law for instance, she was held up in a supermarket parking lot by a gunned man who made her drive to an ATM while holding the gun to her infant's head. I am always super tense now when I go grocery shopping. But that's because I don't know what to buy at the store , I'm a terrible cook. Oh yeah, and my family was part of a home invasion robbery a few years ago and I still think about it sometimes.
    ps-I am obsessed with reading your blog!

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  6. Seriously...the shows don't scare me as much as when people actually know someone who got killed. The guy who put our pool in when I was growing up, his daughter was murdered by her husband. I was scared for weeks.

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  7. I'm watching 48 Hour Mystery as we speak. Does that count? I get so worked up when my husband is out of town that I have to make myself not think about it and go to sleep hoping that I don't wake up again until it's light out and all of the burglars, etc. have gone home to bed.

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  8. Maybe it's b/c I watch stupid things on TV like Charmed instead of the news, but that stuff doesn't freak me out so bad. If I did watch, no doubt I would see very scary stuff since I do live a few miles from WEST PHILADELPHIA (when a couple of guys, they were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood...you get the idea). Zack is actually really scared of scary movies, too. The Grudge honestly almost did him in. After watching it in the theatre, we were brushing our teeth that night before bed, and I finished first and went to leave the bathroom, and he full on grabbed me and made me stay til he finished so that he could go into the bedroom and I could turn off all the lights and climb into bed last.

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  9. I usually don't answer the door at night due to the fact that Joe is working at the restaurant until late. Then as if I wasn't parinoid enough about being home alone...early early this morning our neighbors were victims of a home invasion and the dad was shot in the leg. He is ok...but HELLO! Right next door!!!!! I thought that Utah was "God's Country"?

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  10. I never answer the door when I'm home alone! The bad thing about our new apartment is the peep hole is too high for me to see! So everytime the door bell rings I have to get a kitchen chair and carry it as fast as I can to the the door, look, than quickly run it back to the table before I open the door.(that is, if I decide to open the door)

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