4.08.2007

BREAKING NEWS

ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIES OF A DRUG OVERDOSE

That's the kind of stuff Fox News considers "Breaking News." It drives me nuts. I don't even want to think about what Anna Nicole had to do for the publicity. She obviously knew someone REALLY well (if you know what I mean) at Fox News to make this happen. Her name is always on their front webpage at least ONCE. Isn't there anything else more important happening in the world? Apparently not. So, in the spirit of Fox News, here is my "Breaking News":

BLAKE LEWIS IS NOT A MORMON

Please, no one freak out. My sister Kelley called me tonight to tell me that her friend sang in the school choir with American Idol Finalist, Blake Lewis, but that he is not Mormon. I ask that Kelley issue a public apology for all the grief she has caused everyone who chose to believe this nonsense. I feel so betrayed, so violated... kind of like when I found out that Milli Vanilli was lip syncing, Brad and Jennifer broke up, and when Fox News broke news that Howard K. Stern may not be Anna Nicole's baby's daddy.

2 comments:

  1. To the Public:

    I am soo sorry I mislead everyone into believe Blake Lewis is mormon. I origionally heard it from a Jill (vak's half sister) who went to school with Blake. Yesterday, I was thinking about it and so I asked her again, "so is Blake Lewis active?" and she had no idea what I was talking about. I said, "I thought you told me Blake Lewis was mormon!" and she said, "no.... we sang together in choir... in high school." but later I told Vak (husband) and he said, "Jill is sometimes out of it and it is possible that she could have said that".
    So again, I am very sorry. B square is not mormon.

    *B-square is Lewis' username on Myspace... also on his myspace page he says he doesn't drink or smoke...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I TRIED TO TELL YOU GUYS!!!! AGGH!!! i mean SERIOUSLY!! okay lets think about this: how many ACTIVE, mormon guys wear peircings?? yeah, dont think so. Okay soo maybe there was a slight chance he was less-active, but I didnt think so.

    ReplyDelete

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