SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

The other morning, I got out of the shower, got dressed, walked into the kitchen and Luke immediately approached me with a tall glass of juice.  "I made juice for you, Mommy!"  I paused.  My feet were sticking to the floor.  He continued, "I used the microwave.  It was kind of hot."  Oh dear.  I looked up.  7:15 a.m. and there was juice EVERYWHERE.  He had microwaved a cylinder of frozen concentrated berry juice. I've never taught Luke how to use the microwave.  So, use your imagination.  He's a smart 5 year old, but not that smart.  Who knows how long he microwaved it for.  It was disastrous.  (I knew I should have never bought that microwave!) My glass contained just the warm concentrated syrup.  No water added.  Yum.

As we were cleaning up that insane mess together, it all came back to me.  This had happened before.  

January 30, 2012

Luke, Age 5

December 15, 2008

Luke, Age 2

CRAZY HAIR DAY

Poor Amelia.  Daddy did her hair like this and Mommy won't let her play with a pencil.

AMELIA'S FIRST KISS

(Sung to the tune of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)

I saw Amelia sucking on the garbage can
While I was cooking dinner last night... and the night before that and the night before that....


You get the point.

It's disgusting.  She is french kissing sucking on everything.  Last weekend, we were at Home Depot and she was licking the side of the car shopping cart.  The cashier said, "Oh my gosh, you know your baby is sucking on the side of the shopping cart!"  Erik and I just sighed, "Yeah, we know."  The cashier went on, "Some people are really bothered by that!!"  We just sighed again, "Yeah, we know."  We say that putting everything in her mouth will just "build up her immune system", but deep down I think we just tell ourselves that in order to not feel so guilty for letting her lick everything.  It truly is disgusting, but I don't know how to make her stop!

I know this is just a phase, but I'm ready for it to be over.

SUPERIORITY COMPLEX

There are 2 types of people in this world.  The superior Bosch owners and the inferior Kitchen Aid owners.  (Can you guess which one I am?)

I always respond with the same question when someone tells me they own a Kitchen Aid, "Is it red?  I bet it's red!"  They usually get excited, "Why yes, it is red!"  Yeah, I thought I so.  That's the only reason to buy that silly thing - because it's pretty.  You see, I buy my kitchen appliances based on quality, not appearance.  The Bosch may not be shiny and colorful, but it sure is powerful.

For example, this morning I made FOUR large loaves of whole wheat bread in this bowl.  Impressed?  So am I.

All hail the mighty Bosch!

SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY.

Meet Miss Amelia.  She is 8 months and 1 week old and all day long she keeps crawling to the middle of the room and standing up all on her own.  

Each time that she does it I hold my breath (that's a lot of breath holding today) and wait for her to walk.  She looks like she wants to walk.  My other kids never did this before they had teeth.   People keep saying she needs to keep up with her brothers.  So true, so true.

ROCK ON

I was really tempted to buy a Wii on Black Friday so that we could play Rock Band with the kids.  Not necessary.  Welcome to our new morning routine.  Today I broke out the pots, pans, and chopsticks.  The kids sat on the floor for 20 minutes (a record!) drumming along to songs like "Welcome to the Jungle" and "Highway to Hell."  H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S.  Why haven't I done this before?   

ALCOHOLLY WOULD BE PROUD

Does anyone remember this gift that Alcoholly gave me 2 years ago?  You know, the one that she said, "Screams, Cristin!"

Well, today, Luke was encouraged by his teacher to dress up as either a Pilgrim or Indian for their Thanksgiving "feast" at school.  I say "encouraged" because it wasn't mandatory.  After researching online for 2 minutes about how to make your child a homemade Pilgrim costume, I decided to be lazy and not do it.  I told him that if he wanted to dress up, he'd have to figure it out himself.  

And he did!

This morning, he grabbed this little puppy out of our costume box and announced proudly that he was an Indian and that he would be naked underneath like a real Indian if it wasn't so cold today.  (I'm so glad it's cold today!)

THE JUICE FAST

Erik recently finished a 30 day juice fast.  Why?  Because he is crazy, that's why.  Well, that, and he also was inspired watching Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead on Netflix.  I would have totally done it too if I wasn't breastfeeding.  Too bad for me.   I didn't want Erik to feel like he was alone in his quest to eat better, so I set a goal of only eating ice cream every other day instead of every day throughout the duration of his fast.  (I didn't succeed.)

This is how it worked.  Every few days Erik would make me a list and then I would go to the grocery store and spend way too much money on fruits and vegetables.  Then he would put them into the Breville Juicer we borrowed from my sister, Kaci, and make various juices to drink all day.  Below is a picture of my actual shopping cart during one of said shopping trips.  Did I mention that fresh produce is expensive??  Then when he got too lazy to make juice (and can you blame him?) he would drink Naked Juice.  (Also expensive.)  Yet, as my Dad would say, "Can you really put a price on good health?"  My answer is, "Yes, roughly $20 a day."

First I will tell you the good things about the juice fast.  He lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time.  28 pounds in 30 days to be exact.  We both ended up eating a lot more fruits and vegetables.  We are big red meat eaters, and I only made red meat one time during the whole month.  Now the bad - it was like living with a 15 year old girl!  So many mood swings.  Some days he had a ton of energy and other days he would fall asleep 15 minutes after coming home from work.  I was grateful when he finally stopped.  I was worried he was becoming manorexic.

I really do like eating dinner as family again.  Our new goal is red meat only once a week.  So far, so good.  I think we eat pretty healthy, but we can always improve.  I'm trying to do a lot more vegetable based meals and avoiding processed foods all together.

Now that Erik is off the juice fast, the most common question I get is, "What were his first bites of food like?" I was actually really worried about that.  You hear about these starving people who die from overeating. Don't worry about Erik.  This was him once he started eating again. A candy coma on Halloween night - 

We have also decided that we are watching no more documentaries for awhile.  We are too easily influenced!

JUST SAY NO

Outside of Luke's school, emblazoned across the fence of his playground is written in large red letters -

JUST SAY NO

I asked Luke what it means and he said, "Just say no to jumping over the fence!"  Yup, that anti-drug campaign they've got going at the school is really making a ton of sense.  Well, I'm assuming it's related to drugs.  Right?

I think I will make Luke watch this Punky Brewster anti-drug episode that I clearly remember watching when I was a kid... since it makes perfect sense for 12 year old girls with big hair and shoulder pads to offer cocaine or "nose candy" to 9 year olds.  You don't realize how much television has evolved in the past 20+ years until you watch something like this.

AND YOU ARE....?

Hallelujah.  Halloween is over.  I couldn't be happier.  It is not my most favorite holiday.  Actually, it might even be my least favorite holiday (tied with Administrative Professionals Day).  This year, I actually denied some "trick or treaters" some candy, not because I am a Halloween scrooge, but because they were not wearing costumes.  Seriously?  Who knocks on a stranger's door, asks for candy and doesn't wear a costume!?  I'll tell you who, the 14 year old me, that's who!  Been there, done that.

I found this awful picture of myself tonight from the 1998 Flagstaff Institute of Religion's Halloween Extravaganza  - 

Dressing as a gypsy and telling fortunes inside a tent with UNO cards at a church activity seemed like a really good idea at the time.  Notice the thought and effort that went into that costume?  There wasn't any!  It took five minutes to tie a scarf around my head and put on too much eye shadow.  When I used to dress up on Halloween, I was the master of the "5 Minute Costume."  Other such quickie costumes I have had over the years include - 

The Gap Employee - Jeans, White T-Shirt and name tag that says, "Gap."

The Headless Horseman - Wear a dress shirt that is too big for me, put it over my head,look through an open button hole, name tag that says, "I am headless."

Ghost - White sheet. Name tag optional.

Beatles Fan - Dress like someone from the 60's or 70's.  Wear a name tag that says "I Love the Beatles."

An Intersection  - Wear an arrow name tag.

Ninja - Black sweat pants and black sweatshirt.  Wear a name tag that says "Ninja."

If you haven't figured it already, the key to a quick Halloween costume is usually wearing a NAME TAG.

Lucky for me, I have kids now, which give me a great excuse to not dress up.  This year the kids were Peter Pan, Tinkerbell and Captain Hook.  No name tags required.  (Except, that I did consider putting one on Luke because people kept calling him Robin Hood.)